words like violence break the silence
sleep since midnight: 3 hours
pots coffee: 1
large mugs salabat: 1
pots tisane: 1 (licorice spice)
pots tea: 1 (black dragonfruit)
handfuls of nutritional supplements: 1 (flax oil, borage oil, assorted vitamins)
food: pretzel rod, sticky rice with soy sauce, cheese and rosemary crackers, mushroom chicken steamed bun, olives marinated in bay, greek yogurt and cherries.
alcohol: 2 shots of bourbon
It just occured to me that I've finally figured out many of the ways in which this brain I have been living in for the past 35 years works differently from other people's, and why it caused me so much pain and anxiety for so long.
And I'm learning how to translate.
This is only one of the ways in which writing commercial fiction has saved my life. It's made me learn to talk to people who think differently from me. And I don't mean people who have different beliefs. I mean people whose brains process information in different ways.
(Blood & Iron is the one of my books that most precisely represents my actual brain processes, because it's (in concept) the oldest of the lot. I mean, I put a lot of work into opening it up and making it accessible, and it's still fucking incomprehensible to a good-sized chunk of humanity. But learning to take the thing that my brain calls a narrative and translate it for you linear folks has been really edifying. For one thing, I finally understand, rather than just sort of realizing, that most of you people really do not think like me. Because now I can see what happens when you do not, as truepenny said, follow me around the curve because I failed to signal.)