writing rengeek magpie mind

December 2014

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writing rengeek magpie mind

Cat vs. Monkey

Tuesday:

round 1: 5:00 PM:

Cat: MONKEY! You are in the WRONG CHAIR.
Monkey: That is because my laptop is in the shop, so I am working at my desk today.
Cat: MONKEY! You are in the WRONG CHAIR.
Monkey: You always try to throw me out of the other chair when I am working in it.
Cat: MONKEY! You are in the WRONG CHAIR.
Monkey: *rearranges furniture*
Cat: *snuggles*
Monkey: *types*


round 2: 7:00 PM

Cat: MONKEY! You are IN MY CHAIR.
Monkey: *ignores*
Cat: *sits on mouse*
Monkey: *types*
Cat: *!*
Monkey: *pushes cat out of the way*


round 3: 9:00 PM

Monkey: *done with book*
Cat: *nowhere to be seen*
Monkey: *solicits play*
Cat: I don't know you.


round 4: 10:00 PM

Cat: Monkey, what are you DOING?
Monkey: *pushes cat off TV remote*
Cat: Monkey, I'm BORED.
Monkey: *Tosses glitterball at the rump of cat who is blocking television*
Cat: biPED! EEE!
Monkey: WIKTORY!
Cat: I'll get you, my pretty.


round 5: 11:00 P.M.

Cat: Monkey, I'm cold.
Monkey: *scooches over*
Cat: Monkey, I'm HUNGRY.
Monkey: *feeds cat*



Wednesday:

round 6: 12:00 AM

Cat: Monkey, it's BEDTIME.
Monkey: *typetypetype*
Cat: MONKEY. I said BEDTIME.
Monkey: Not right now. I'm writing fanfic.
Cat: *forlorn beeping*
Monkey: Whatever.


round 7: 1:00 AM

Cat: Monkey, it's still bedtime.
Monkey: So go to bed already.


round 8: 1:30 AM:

Monkey: *goes to bed*
Cat: *awakens in dark living room, having not gone to bed after all, has panic attack, wanders around the (two room) apartment crying forlornly for the monkey* MONKEY! MONKEY! WHERE ARE YOU, MONKEY?
Monkey: Oh, for the love of Mike, Cat, I'm RIGHT HERE.
Cat: *nonchalantly climbs into bed and shoves the monkey's head off her pillow*
Monkey: :-\
Cat: :-)


round 9: 2:00 AM

Cat: *licks monkey's hand to make monkey roll over*
Monkey: I hate you.


round 10: 6:00 AM

Cat: Monkey? It's six.
Monkey: *zzzzzz*


round 11: 6:15 AM

Cat: Monkey, I said it was six. Are you okay?
Monkey: go 'way I's sleepin'


round 12: 6:17 AM:

Cat: Monkey? You're SCARING ME!
Monkey: *hits cat with pillow*


round 13: 6:25 AM:

Cat: Monkey? Monkey?! MONKEY!
Monkey: *bleh?*
Cat: MONKEY THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE AND THE GOLDFISH ARE RIOTING!
Monkey: We don't have any goldfish.
Cat: Wanker.


round 14: 6:45 AM:

Cat: Monkey, are you sure you're not dying?
Monkey: Look at it this way. If you keep this up, I'm not sure YOU'RE not dying.


round 15: 7:00 AM:

Cat: Monkey?
Monkey: ....
Cat: *walks on monkey's hair*
Monkey: *hides under comforter*
Cat: *burrows under comforter after monkey*
Monkey: s'a day OFF, schtupid cat.
Cat: *burrows harder*
Monkey: *rears up in bed and enfolds cat in comforter like the bone-sucking web-wing monsters in the Beastmaster movie*
Cat: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monkey: *won't let go of cat*
Cat: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Monkey: *ejects cat from comforter*
Cat: *huff*
Monkey: *ehe*
Cat: Monkey? You are not funny.
Monkey: *awake now*


Coda: 7:41 AM:

Monkey: *makes fun of cat on the internet*
Cat: *lurks on edge of desk, glaring like a vulture*
Monkey: Just you wait. I'm playing guitar this morning.


She's already plotting the rematch. I can tell.

Comments

*heart* your tabby Orientals - they look just like mine (except for being asleep - or rather, pretending to be asleep)
Oh, I wish they were mine! But they're from a picture I turned into an icon. I did used to have cats though, and miss 'em in my life... Would love to have more again one day. Your cat looks beautiful in your icon. :^)