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September 2014

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She's back....

Cat: My feet are cold.
Monkey: Go away, I'm answering my email.
Cat: I'm hungry!
Monkey: There's food in your dish.
Cat: But my feet are cold!
Monkey: So sit in the comforter!
Cat: But I'm hungry!
Monkey: In every cat's life, there comes a day when she must choose--
Cat: But I want to walk across your laptop, which is balanced on the snack table!
Monkey: I am using the laptop.
Cat: *walks across laptop*
Monkey: *removes cat*
Cat: *walks across laptop*
Monkey: *pokes cat with Poking Finger (tm)*
Cat: *makes a tea cozy on the laptop keyboard*
Monkey: *picks up cat and snuggles it with extreme prejudice*
Cat: Ek! Ek! Ek!
Monkey: *snuggles harder*
Cat: PUT ME DOWN YOU WICKED PRIMATE!
Monkey: You said you were cold.
Cat: EK! OH NOES! DIGNITY! EK!
Monkey: *puts cat down*
Cat: *sits on monkey's knee, the better to shun monkey*
Monkey: *types. industriously*


Ahh. Nine hours of sleep.
Yep, I'm sick.
*coughs pathetically*

Comments

There really is just one cat in the entire universe, isn't there? With many avatars.
They are all merely avatars of the ur-cat. A collective intelligence.

Okay, maybe not *intelligence.*
"Collective annoyance"?
Yes.
AWWW CAT!
*g* She is the original Presumptuous Cat.
I think there should be a new rule: In your cat posts, in all dialog attributed to Cat, any sentence of said dialog much begin or end with "Monkey". Because I don't know about anyone else, but when *I* read this, I couldn't help but hear an ASSUMED "Monkey" at the beginning of all of those...

I suppose there could an exception for single-word exclamations or short explicitives.
Hee.

No, the "MONKEY!" is when she's exclamatory and extra demanding, not merely normally presumptuous.
I'm sick too. And you're the second person on my flist to to say they're sick.
I've been Not Sick since Boskone. I'm finally giving up and admitting it. :-P

It's just a cold, though.
Yeah, I think mine's just a bad case of seasonal allergies.
::pats:: Feel better soon.
If you're sick, the best thing to do is embrace it, give in to it, and just wallow in the illness. If you don't you stay sick FOREVER.
It's like a bad relationship, if you ignore it, it just clings tighter. Give in, and it gets bored and goes away. It wants the thrill of the chase, the romantic yearning at your doorstep, the chance to reach out and find it can just barely reach you--seize hold of it, moan, "You are the bestest cold ever!" and you'll kill the romance.

I speak as a veteran of the process.

I love you.
*loffs back*

Our middle cat has developed the special ability to flop on the keyboard and somehow manipulate the brightness controls with his side. It's impressive. Annoying, but impressive.
Oh yes.

The Presumptuous Cat loves the new flat screen monitor. Not only does she fit between it and the keyboard (quite opaquely) but she can change my contrast with her butt.
Yes, we have serious flat-screen feline love here as well. It's warm, they're in the middle of what the primates are doing, and they have a chance to cause significant social disruption. If only it provided food when chin-marked, it would be perfect.
While I disagree with Scott Adams on many a silly point, I must agree with him on this one: the keyboard is the cat's prey and true enemy.

And it goes doubly so for laptop keyboards. There is a reason I only use my laptop when I'm not at home, surrounded by bickering cats who want to sit on my hands.
My cat insists that only the monkey's lap is acceptable and refuses to cuddle lower down even though I am sitting feet up on a chair with an ottoman.
silly monkey.

your lap is where the body heat is.
Cleo is a full-grown Maine Coon and only finds my lap acceptable if I have my legs stretched out on the coffee table, at which point she stretches all the way from my lap to my ankles.
I Didn't (that would be my cat), tied the house up with my knitting again last night. Now she's out in the snow - looking indignant.

"Mohair is EXPENSIVE, you brat!"
My cat is reading the activities of your cat, and is demanding custody of the tuna cans and the tin opener.
Your cat makes the Equus noise?

::is PROFOUNDLY disturbed::
Among all her others, yes.
George Foreman, the feline majorus in our house, was especially agitated yesterday. Attacking in places that should not be attacked. Finally as I sat in the big chair next to the laptop, he hopped into my lap. Seemed to settle in just fine on the lap for a few moments, all set to be patted. He calmed down, although his placement allowed for him to perfectly bite my wrists like a vampire.

Fortunately, just when I needed to get up, he leapt off the lap to curse some birds outside. Seems he's more of a bed cat, really.
All Boomerang did this morning was eat a shoelace, covet my Perfect Omelete, and demand to be brushed. And trip me three times, but he's a big'un and I wasn't quite awake yet.

Pandora is the one with keyboard issues, and she has been placated with custody of the printer.

My cat lurves me enormously, and has since Sunday night. Because I'm sitting there glued to the television machine and Not Knitting, so she's got acres of lap to colonize.
Glad to know others use the "Fine, you want attention? I'll give you more attention than you can handle" detterent for thier cat.
Hope you get better soon.

Reading about your cat makes me glad mine is so lazy. He's perfectly content just to lie in a heap. All the time.
I like these, mine would be more like
Cat: Mommy, will you let me out of the bathrom now?
Mommy: will you pee everywhere again?
Cat(incredulous look): Of course not!
Mommy: that's what I thought, back to the bathroom with you.
Cat: but but but my boyfriends won't smell me if I don't pee everywhere!
Mommy: exactly
Cat: But I love you?
Mommy: I love you too but you're not getting out
Cat: grrrr nip

Poor thing...

I hope you feel better. You certainly made me laugh ::grin::

{{{HUGS}}}
We wouldn't know what to do without our cranky cats, though. And they do provide entertainment value, if nothing else!
Awww! So much love. Reading this gives me that same warm, bemused feeling my own cat did, oh so many years ago.

Hope you feel better soon.