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Apr. 16th, 2007

  • 9:17 PM
rengeek will
I was just sitting down to write a book report on [info]triciasullivan's Maul when I heard the news, via Paul di Filippo, that SF writer Michael Bishop's son Jamie may be--seems to be likely to have been--among the dead in Virginia.

As much as the community of SFF writers and editors and publishers and fans may brawl and posture, on some level we are a family. A family of a few thousand, which also means that there is always something going on with somebody.

Horrors happen every day, here and elsewhere. We cannot build our lives around them all, and so mostly we nod and maybe hold our breath for a minute and walk past, in a moment of silence. This is not the first time in my life that a news report has turned out to fall closer to home than I guessed when I heard it.

This is a distant link, for me, as such things go. It's nothing like being the person actually getting that phone call. Just a moment of grief, instead of a lifetime.

It would be an imposition for me to claim any of that grief. It's not mine.

All the same, I think I'll leave the book report for tomorrow.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]robinellen wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 01:22 am (UTC)
My thoughts to him and his family.
[info]commodorified wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 02:34 am (UTC)
Just got off the phone with a friend. Her husband no longer teaches there, but he has lost at least one former student, maybe more.

It terrifies and angers me that I am getting used to this. Not in the sense of not being horrified. Only in the sense of not being shocked.

One of the best things about these vast tribes -- the SF/F community, for example -- is that we are, really, connected in a net that stretches across the world. Also one of the worst things. It's hard to know how to respond without either claiming an inappropriate share of the grief or standing too far back and letting it all bounce off of our callouses.

It is very hard.

Then I checked my email and halfway across the world from Virginia a friend's father has died, peacefully at age 98.

That, I know how to respond to, and will. But still. My arms are feeling too short right now, to reach all the people I'd like to be able to hold.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 11:02 am (UTC)
It's still a cold touch on your neck, you know? Wow.
[info]suzycat wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 03:17 am (UTC)
It's odd who people we don't actually know can impact us in a personal manner. I don't fully know what it is. Just this last week, Smallville fandom lost a once-prolific and very talented fic and meta writer to cancer, and even though most of us had never met her - I only knew her through her posts and responses to my comments - and knew she was ill, it hit hard. You're right, it seems unworthy somehow to claim grief when REAL people are grieving for their real life loss, yet somehow we feel it.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 03:21 am (UTC)
I think people we know online are real--or real to me, anyway. I have good friends I have never met!

But it's more... this thing where people I *do* know and care about are grieving, and... there's nothing I can do. Just watch and try not to intrude.
[info]uilos wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 03:36 am (UTC)
I'm an ex-Blacksburgian and as far as I know, all of the local SF club people checked in OK. Thank goodness for the internet.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 10:57 am (UTC)
Indeed. It makes many things easier....
[info]desperance wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 07:39 am (UTC)
Just to say, it's been confirmed that Jamie is dead.

And no, this one's not my grief either: just that one step closer than it was last night, a reminder of how every loss is particular and personal and immediate.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 10:51 am (UTC)
Thank you, although it's terrible news.

And yes. That's it, of course, and trust you to cut right to heart of it. A reminder that every loss is particular, even if we do not know how, or get so shocked by the numbers that we dissociate.

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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