bear by san

June 2015

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*whimper*

Ah, page proofs.

The only thing on earth that can make me feel worse about my writing is the actual published novel.

Wow, listen to that prose clunk.

Oh well, too late to change it now.

Comments

Why ARE they so terrible? It's just reading for typos and dropped lines. :-P

And yet, argh.
For me personally, I write long and I am continually cutting through every draft and semidraft and semidemidraft. But it's never enough. Each round of cutting sets off new things in relief, and then when I get the page proofs I haven't seen the book for a couple of months plus it is in a different font and spacing, so all those additional excess phrases and words that I didn't see before POP OUT AT ME.

And then I hate myself.

Also, if there are any slight plot elements that niggle at me, there they are in all their screaming "can't-change-me-now!" glory. Just this morning I had a thought about the gender of a child, a brilliant thought, lo! But then I remembered: too late! And the mocking voices cackled in my direction.

iow, it's truly out of my hands now. The anxiety sets in.

Yep. And now people are going to read it and make fun of it on the Internets.

It's a dog's life.

*g*
or worse - they're not going to talk about it at all.
Aieeee! Don't speak of it! ;-)
You published authors...
Silly things you.
HIRE PEOPLE.
Like the H&R Block commercial series, "I've got people."

Hey Bear, you done with your proofs yet?

"Proofs? No I don't do my own proofs anymore, I've got people."
First of all, that costs money. Do you have any idea what writers get paid?

Second, they couldn't turn it around in five days; they'd laugh at me.

Third, they can't very well fix my crappy sentences, and they're unlikely to notice plot holes, aren't they?

Do I have any idea what writers get paid?
Perhaps not as common knowledge I thought on the LJ friends list but I did play personal assistant to a well known and very prolific fantasy author for some time, which included financials and prepping tax documents --- so yes, I know exactly what writers get paid --- even "famous" writers.

This was meant as a bit of silliness really.

In fact, you shouldn't have to write your own books --- you've got people :P
I've got a line on a friend who happens to (a) be a decent SF short story writer himself, and (b) edits and copy-edits for a living. He's willing to work over my novels on a freelance basis for money (but not his full commercial rate), he's meticulous, he has a very good idea what to look for, and if I hit overload he's usually able to save my sorry ass. Also, paying him is a business expense (i.e. it works out cheaper than you might expect, in the end when the tax bill is due).

Even so, when I use him (on about a third of my books -- where I expect the publisher's in-house proofreading to be crap, or where I'm hopelesssly overloaded) I still go through it, checking his changes and giving the rest of the text a quick skim. It saves about 50-70% of the legwork, but it's not a magic wand to get out of proofreading free and clear.