Cat: Monkey? What are you doooing?
Monkey: O Cat, I am building your furniture.
Cat: But I don't need any more furniture.
Monkey: You need high places to perch.
Cat: *considers* There is wisdom in what you say. What's this?
Monkey: That's a shelf. And you're sitting on it.
Cat: You said I needed high places to perch.
Monkey: But it's still on the floor.
Cat: But it's mine. THis is my house. So this is my shelf.
Monkey: On the floor.
Cat: That's as may be.
Monkey: I need the shelf to build the book case.
Cat: I need the shelf to sit upon.
Monkey: Here, have a catnip chili pepper.
Cat: ooo. Shiny!
Monkey: *constructs book cases*
Cat: *chases toys*
Monkey: *constructs book cases*
Cat: *chases screws and pegs*
Monkey: Hey! Using those.
Cat: So am I!
Monkey: Look out, I have to tip this upright.
Cat: Aieeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Monkey: ...
Cat: *flees in terror*
Monkey: *sets up book case*
Monkey: *fills with books*
Monkey: *enjoys less cluttered apartment*
...time passes...
Monkey: Cat?
...time passes...
Monkey: Cat?
...time passes...
Monkey: Cat? *opens closets, peers in corners, checks to see if the cat has somehow gotten out of the apartment and into the hallway*
Cat: (from darkest corner under bed) Mew?
Monkey: Cat, come out.
Cat: Can't. You rearranged. I am traumatized.
Monkey: I built a book case.
Cat: OH! THE TRAUMA!
Monkey: Whatever. *moves bed. Retrieves cat, who stays perfectly still all through bed-moving process. brings cat to living room.*
Cat: Aiieee! It's a Bookmonster!
Monkey: *puts cat down on couch*
Cat: Oh! The traaaaaauuuummmmaaaaa!
...time passes...
Monkey: *goes back to work*
Cat: *sits on book case*
- Mood:
grumpy - Music:Garbage - Hammering In My Head
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matociquala- it's a great life, if you don't weaken
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Comments
Edited at 2008-01-10 09:18 pm (UTC)
I think it's part of the way they use us as giant cat toys and game generators.
He did not, however, appreciate the monkey's need to clean, let alone rearrange furniture.
If I was cleaning, I'd just lock him in another area of the house. Otherwise he'd stalk and attack the broom, pick fights with the other cats, and generally get upset.
If I rearranged the furniture... well that meant locking him out on the porch for the better part of a day. He'd stalk into the room where the furniture had been altered, and he'd glare. Whiskers spread out and little hamster-tail-nub twirling in jerky circles. Then he'd walk over to something, anything, and claw it in his displeasure (or worse. I learned to keep the nature's miracle handy when he was in a bad mood).
You would think that a cat who had lived through as much as he had lived through would be less opinionated on interior decoration, but he found it remarkably bothersome.
I miss him. He was a good cat.
We moved house last fall. Take two cats. Put entire household in boxes over a period of two weeks, thereby fully engaging the 'you moved things!' freakout.
On moving day, rise early, trap two cats, put in large dog carrier (covered) to prevent escape during truck loading. Ignore all piteous moans. Late in day, transfer large dog crate to new house by automobile. In process, one cat will make spirited attempt to break though crate and disembowel people putting crate in car, other will hunker down and make exorcist noises as soundtrack.
At new house, shoo out helpers to reduce confusion, uncover and open crate.
Exorcist cat will take over half an hour to come out then act like nothing is wrong.
Disembowelling cat will take six hours to come out of crate. Will spend three days hiding and fleeing all Monkey peace overtures screaming 'You moved things!'.
By end of first week, neither cat will have any idea what you are referring to and the whole move house and get more space for cats thing was their idea. But woe betide the treacherous Monkey who moves a chair to get at an electrical outlet.
Because we do not move things. Ever. The Cat has spoken.
One of them followed me upstairs to my office and then got lost and couldn't find the stairs to get back down. He sat in the middle of the landing and cried, poor thing. And when I carried him downstairs, there was a definitely air of "Mommy SAVED me!"
What do you like to read?
mine do that sometimes, but their very favorite thing to do is to ALL pile in the newly constructed bookcase before i can put books in it (or move it) and i have at least two who have apparently developed suction butt, because they can stay seated /lying down on a shelf at a 45 degree angle....
btw, love the icon
Sincerely,
C.H. Impanzee
All games.
The house ALWAYS wins.
Ever think of pubbing a collection?
My feline is terribly excited because the new flatscreen TV box is huge and he can sit on top and look around at everything. It's his awesome cat perch.
At 2 am.
I swear, that was my day. I was moving stuff and cleaning things out, but the trauma and the drama was the same.
Poor, poor Presumptuous Cat and Warrior Kjittens. The trials they endure at the hands of the people feeding them and keeping them warm and sharing the bed with them. I don't know how they go on...
Summertime - they climb the end logs on the cabin and hang out on the roof. Hearing little cat feet tromp across your roof is rather fun.
Go Presumptuous Cat! Keep your Monkey Minion in her place.
Signed, another Monkey Minion that obeys the feline overlords.
There is much woe, and falling down from the fainting, trauma.
Until I put the laundry basket once again on top of the dryer and fill it again with warm clothes and return it to its status as best cat bed in the world.