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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

And while you're at it, I want a pony.

February 29th would have been my second wedding anniversary, if I were still married. (The alert among you will have already figured out that this means I got married in 2000.) I've been separated for over two years now, and divorced for six months, and I have realized something recently.

I am ready to start dating again.

Of course, I have no idea how a self-employed artist would meet people. A friend of mine has been exploring the wilds of Craig's list for similar purposes, but her results have been mixed enough that I'm totally hesitant to try that. On the other hand, I'm also enough at a loss that on the way home from Fall River (it's about a two hour drive) tonight I started composing a personal ad.

Let's see.

Self-employed, financially independent artist seeks person(s) for acquaintanceship, flirtation, possible escalation. I am: divorced, female, 36, eclectic, geeky, mercurial, empathic, intellectual, opinionated, radical, insecure, overscheduled, tactile, energetic, intimidating, picky, prickly, defensive, spontaneous, amusing, tough, devoid of ownership issues, bad at communicating needs strongly, moderately traumatized but so over the glamour of my own tragic past, and can cook. I am looking for someone(s) who is/are: 25-55, single or in an open relationship, solvent, outdoorsy, creative, adventurous, ethical, ambitious, geeky, competent, active, curious, friendly, funny, and not a picky eater.

Anybody not within a reasonable commute of Hartford, CT, need not apply.

And then it occurred to me... I could ask my Internets!  So there you go.

Internets, set me up with your friends!


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Alas, I currently know no available men who aren't deranged, but we can get you a pony. You can have ours if you like.
Do you know any ponies that aren't deranged?
You don't want to know my friends. Honestly.

Still, I got lucky - oh, so very very lucky - on the British equivalent of Craig's list. However you do it, be lucky in love.
What is the British equivalent of Craigslist?
I wish you much success and offer you this note of hope:

I met both of my wives (serially) through the internet. The first, in a RP room in the early days of AOL, and the second just a few years ago via an online dating matchup service after I'd stopped using it (but my profile was still up).

Good luck!
Thank you! (and aww.)
Wow, I'm putting this one in my memories! It's gonna be good.

For once the fact that most of the single women I know are lesbians is not a problem. I know very few single men and the ones that I do are single for a reason.

I'll put out my feelers.
I know very few single men and the ones that I do are single for a reason.

Yeah, what is with that? *g*
Well, I have a single roommate who meets some of your criteria, and enters the lower range of your listed age bracket today... I'll get back to you on this one.
*g* The really important ones are "ethical" and "curious."


I know of no one who fits your geographic limitation - but I see in about 14 hours you have gotten more response to this post than normal. On the surface, this seems to be a successful social experiment. Certainly this has to qualify as a well deserved boost to the ego!
Alas, most of them are "I don't know anybody to recommend," or "You should try X dating service."

Although two people have offered me ponies.
"Anybody not within a reasonable commute of Hartford, CT, need not apply."

Damn damn and double damn! But for this last, I'd take a flying leap at a mutual risk. Damn my attachment to Iowegia...
It's my cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurse. I did the long-distance relationship thing once, moved 2700 miles... and well, unhappy results.

I would date your icon, FWIW.
Because I used to be married to one.
Not outdoorsy or active, nor within commuting distance (Michigan too darned far!). However, I'd like to take this opportunity to admit a huge crush on both Monkey AND Presumptuous Cat, and regret my indoorsiness, inactivity and considerable distance because of that.

Aww. *g*

Thank you.

From the Monkey, anyway. The cat wants to know if this will result in fish.
I do not live within a reasonable commute of Hartford, CT, and am unaware of anyone who meets the criteria.

Consider cloning.
Glad to see that the sun still being out when you left gave you some inspiration. ;)
The main thing for a personals add is ISO ASL and you left out the S.

So would you take whomever's clever, or you want to keep the desired gender of a prospective significant other to yourself?

I specified. I said person(s).
I know an excellent someone, but alas, she's in DC.

I had a cute medieval studies professor at Wesleyan who might still be there, but he's probably married by now.

Next time you're DC-ward, I still owe you a drink promised at '06 Comic-Con. You are welcome to practice flirting. ;)
That sounds like an excellent plan. *g*

Date arithmetic

I am confused by the date arithmetic. Second? 2000?

Re: Date arithmetic

For some ridiculous reason, to which, however, I’ve no desire to be disloyal,
Some person in authority, I don’t know who, very likely the Astronomer Royal,
Has decided that, although for such a beastly month as February,
twenty-eight days as a rule are plenty,
One year in every four his days shall be reckoned as nine and twenty.
Through some singular coincidence – I shouldn’t be surprised if it were owing to the
agency of an ill-natured fairy –
You are the victim of this clumsy arrangement, having been born in leap-year,
on the twenty-ninth of February;
And so, by a simple arithmetical process, you’ll easily discover,
That though you’ve lived twenty-one years, yet, if we go by birthdays,
you’re only five and a little bit over!
Found you via Scalzi's site.

I've done the online dating thing. The first time, I landed me in a marriage that didn't quite make the two-year mark (and that's pretty depressing).

Not one to learn from my mistakes, I got back on the horse in October or so, and wrote a witty profile on Match, had a few disastrous dates, a few really awesome ones, and have now settled in to "exclusive" for the last two months...

Really, it's about being choosy. I opted to be really choosy and went out there realizing that other people would be, too, and not to take any rejections personally. It seems to have worked out pretty well this time around...
I can't say I'm surprised to see the massive response here, everyone who knows you knows what a great catch you are.

I don't know anyone in Hartford. Probably the closest would be New York City, but no one available at the moment.

I'll definitely keep my eyes open until you finish your search, and hopefully you'll have a lot of fun along the way!
Thank you! Alas! It's mostly responses very much like yours... *g*

And two offers of a pony.
moderately traumatized but so over the glamour of my own tragic past

I am tempted to steal this line should I ever come within range of a person who is desirable, available, and interested.
It is yours. I gift it to you.
Phooey, and here's me married for 29 years to the same guy. If I were available, I'd be at your door with roses, camping gear, and Macallan 24.

Being as I'm not -- I asked my daughter, who is about your age and lives in Bristol, if she knows anybody appropriate. Or inappropriately exciting.

Thank you!
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