Log in

bear by san

February 2017



Powered by LiveJournal.com
bear by san

And while you're at it, I want a pony.

February 29th would have been my second wedding anniversary, if I were still married. (The alert among you will have already figured out that this means I got married in 2000.) I've been separated for over two years now, and divorced for six months, and I have realized something recently.

I am ready to start dating again.

Of course, I have no idea how a self-employed artist would meet people. A friend of mine has been exploring the wilds of Craig's list for similar purposes, but her results have been mixed enough that I'm totally hesitant to try that. On the other hand, I'm also enough at a loss that on the way home from Fall River (it's about a two hour drive) tonight I started composing a personal ad.

Let's see.

Self-employed, financially independent artist seeks person(s) for acquaintanceship, flirtation, possible escalation. I am: divorced, female, 36, eclectic, geeky, mercurial, empathic, intellectual, opinionated, radical, insecure, overscheduled, tactile, energetic, intimidating, picky, prickly, defensive, spontaneous, amusing, tough, devoid of ownership issues, bad at communicating needs strongly, moderately traumatized but so over the glamour of my own tragic past, and can cook. I am looking for someone(s) who is/are: 25-55, single or in an open relationship, solvent, outdoorsy, creative, adventurous, ethical, ambitious, geeky, competent, active, curious, friendly, funny, and not a picky eater.

Anybody not within a reasonable commute of Hartford, CT, need not apply.

And then it occurred to me... I could ask my Internets!  So there you go.

Internets, set me up with your friends!


Do not post on craigslist. You will be overwhelmed by unrequested pictures of people's genitalia. In something like 15 minutes of posting.

OK Cupid is somewhat OK. Have you tried it?
Not doing dating sites. Too much like work, I think. And it defeats the purpose of pre-filtering through acquaintances.
I agree that using dating sites can feel more like work, but Craig's List is no better. Craig's List is well liked by people seeking quick sex. Most intelligent people who seek a dating site want something that rapidly sorts the wheat from the chaff, but most don't particularly work that way.

The site I like most is frequently referred to as "the dating site for intellectuals", because regardless of degree of education or political leaning, stupid people simply do not thrive there. Meanwhile users of the site are so impressed with the matching accuracy that it is not the least bit unusual for members to introduce people they meet off-site in order to better determine just how compatible they may be.

The website I refer to is, OKCupid.com. OKCupid makes most, if not all, dating sites pale in comparison by having features that no other dating sites would dare to have.

-OKCupid has an extremely functional personality matching system. The tests upon which this matching is based are written by the users, not a small number of Harvard psychologists, so the testing is not biased toward users with a particular background.
-Unlike most/all other dating sites, OKCupid allows outside links to be placed in the user profile. Even free sites such as plentyoffish automatically deletes/disables such linking as it has to potential to lure their clients away.
-OKCupid allows users to post insanely long profiles if the user wishes. Trust me, I'm long winded; If OKCupid has a profile length limit, I've not found it yet.
-OKCupid features an "journal" feature which can be linked from your profile and used in many ways, including a sort-of OKCupid version of the LJ-cut feature. Many use it to post accessory photos beyond the five user photos the site provides.

I'm hard pressed to try to think of any one feature of OKCupid that is that much more appealing, although there is one that does seem to impress even those who know nothing about the site. That is that it is FREE, or rather it is supported by advertising and does not demand money, EVER. Many so-called FREE sites actually allow you to join for free, but you cannot send email until you pay for the privilege.

If you do decide to join, please email me to that effect at fixx at Livejournal.com and I'll offer you some tips for new users.
You will be overwhelmed by unrequested pictures of people's genitalia. In something like 15 minutes of posting.

People keep saying this, but it has never happened to me.
Not on Craigs, since I've never used it. But, yeah, I've had offers of photographs like that.

The only half-sane reason I can think of is to show a lack of disfiguring STDs.
Aren't some disfiguring STDs on the inside? ;)