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writing genocide
Steve Brust would like you to know about 4th Street Fantasy Convention, an intimate little con in Minneapolis.

For those unfamiliar with it, the Fourth Street Fantasy Convention is a fairly small convention that ran during the 80s. It’s oriented toward, well, how to read and write better. Or, put another way, it’s a convention of people who like to read, write, and edit good books, and want there to be more good books to read, write, and edit.

We’re bringing it back.

I will be the Guest of Honor, and many other fun and wonderful people will be there.

Also, my short story "And the Deep Blue Sea" is available as of today as a podcast at StarShipSofa, read by Amy Sturgis. Which is pretty darn cool.


Progress notes for 2 April 2008

Chill:

New words: 669
Microsoft wordcount: 52622
Manuscript wordcount: 62000 
Deadline: May 1
Mammalian assistance: snuggy cat. her favorite thing is when my lap and the sunbeam are colocated. 
Reason for stopping: Intense frustration and brainlessness.

Man, this book is still not going well. I am stringing words together, but I'm not sure they make any sense, and the sentences certainly aren't. It feels like trying to write with brain damage. If it weren't for the fact that apparently everything else is working normally and I know I'm a hypochondriac, I swear I would suspect a micro-stroke, or possibly a tumor.

Gah. I am such a basket case about my writing right now anyway. I am toiling under a triple threat: one helping of post-Clarion syndrome, which has actualized my internal editor to the point where all I can see about what I'm writing is what the words aren't, one helping of trying to write a book that's so unripe, I think I would be better off trying to write it in 2009, and meanwhile, an extra-large helping of being deep in the throes of processing some sort of incipient skill jump that has made me incompetent to do things I used to do with ease, until the backbrain figures it out and frees up some processing power.

Now I know that the end result of this particular crisis will be me as a stronger writer (heck, maybe this is the final veil, and if I get through this, I will be a grown up writer and not a journeyman anymore) but trying to work through it is hard, hard, hard. And it hurts. And I wish I could just stop.

I think what I am going to do is take the rest of today off, give myself tomorrow off. This weekend is I-Con. And then I will start work on the page proofs for Ink & Steel. (Page proofs for the mass market paperback of A Companion to Wolves are also landing this week, and by the 18th I should have the ones for All the Windwracked Stars... at which point I will be at Penguicon.) After the page proofs, perhaps I will see if I have grown any story in my head.

(I even know what happens in these scenes. I just can't seem to write it at any level of competence above, oh, Fourth Grade. Gods, this is frustrating.)





Darling du jour: Hazel, he supposed the color was called--but tawny was the right word, for everything about her should be defined in terms of predators.
There's always one more quirk in the character:  Tristen really, really does not want to tell me how Aefre got killed. I mean, I already know--I knew last book. But boy howdy he does not want to talk about it.

Today's words Word don't know:  n/a
Words I'm Surprised Word Do Know: n/a 
Sustenance: Steamed buns. Again. And a mango.
Mean Things: Family deaths. War crimes.
Other writing-related work: none

Exercise: none
Miles to Lothlorien: 245.8
Guitar practice: Just gonna go do that now. Or maybe I will have a nap first.
Mail: nomail

Comments

( 46 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]rikibeth wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
If you are taking the day off anyway... want to go dancing? It's the night for it, and [info]mhaille may be coming. Also, [info]annabelevil has promised all request.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:07 pm (UTC)
Climbing night. *g* And I will have way too many people this weekend.....

And I am emo and want to stay home and watch Criminal Minds. *g*
[info]rikibeth wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:10 pm (UTC)
Spencer Reid is love. I understand.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:13 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

I may be more social this summer, however, if I can get my head sorted enough to actually be able to write.
[info]rikibeth wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:16 pm (UTC)
Summer's more fun for it anyway. Also, I am about to renew our Six Flags passes. Please consider yourself invited for roller coasters and water slides, as we will have free friend tickets.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:17 pm (UTC)
...oooo.

Goth rollercoastering.
[info]rikibeth wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:21 pm (UTC)
...well, generally we do our coastering in cargo shorts and band T-shirts and Converse sneakers, but I could easily be convinced to goth it up for a day.

But not with the dreadfalls. I would hate to lose my goth hair on a coaster.
[info]kitmf wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:21 pm (UTC)
Yesterday I had a day from hell. This morning I realized that I was not only feeling sick all day yesterday because of my own basic incompetence, but also because I was actually getting *sick*. Today I got my hands on Carnival. Thank you for rescuing my week. I cannot sufficiently express my gratitude.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
Yay!

That's my favorite of the SF books. I am glad it's making you happy.
[info]nayad wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:28 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry the work's been so hard lately... :/
[info]ckastens wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:38 pm (UTC)
Congrats on being Guest of Honor!
[info]anghara wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:39 pm (UTC)
Tell the Fourth Street People that their convention sounds WONDERFUL. Maybe next year...
[info]lindensphinx wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
Someday, you will be at a convention I can go to! This one sounds so neat. But I will be in Belfast translating medieval Greek at the time.

Maybe next year.
[info]saoba wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC)
Sometimes my skill acquisition brain acts like a bread shoggoth. It wants to be fed and left in a nice warm spot to bubble and poking at it too early just makes it sulk. It doesn't seem to be just thinky skills, learning new physical stuff can set it off too.

It's very frustrating.

[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC)
That is the thing exactly. It's chewing on something back there.

I wish it would swallow.
[info]faithhopetricks wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
....mightn't it be like a cow regurgitating cud, though? Cows are supposed to have, what, seven stomachs? Think how many a shoggoth might be supposed to have. Eldritch stomachs.
[info]joycemocha wrote:
Apr. 3rd, 2008 03:12 am (UTC)
Yeah.

I'm nowhere near at your level, but the novels I wrote last year came flying out of the fingers.

The latest one--yeesh. It drags, it does. As in ever since Christmas, it drags (okay, I'm writing around a day job and on spec, so I can't whine too loud).

It wants to be a frickin' saga, damn it.

I can't afford to write a frickin' saga at this stage of my career. I just--can't.

92K and counting. I kept chanting "only 20K to go" 20k ago.

I'm still chanting it.

Phooey.

Here. (offers a virtual Scotch).

To cranky backbrains!
[info]remus_shepherd wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC)
I really want to go to 4th Street...but you put the convention in the middle of two or three others I was planning on attending. There's still a good chance that I'll be there, but it's not going to be easy. But it sounds like my kind of convention, and it'd be good to see all the VP magnates again.
[info]blackcoat wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
Oooh, mango! I like mangoes, I just wish they weren't $3/2 for crappy ones still. :-P

Also. Need apricots, so that I can make apricot bread/soup.

Which you would be welcome to, if you weren't on the other side of the country. :)
[info]rolanni wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:02 pm (UTC)
I'm not, you understand, glad that you're going through this, but it does help me in the not-slitting-my-own-wrists department to see by example that I haven't had a mini-stroke or developed a brain tumor. (Look, Bear: You're an example to my old age!)

I wrote the last book on Pure Stubborn and there don't seem to be any fumes left for this one, poor thing.

One. Damn. Word. At. A. Time.

Man, I hate writing like this.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:12 pm (UTC)
That's it exactly. I think I wrote the last one on fumes too, and there's just nothing fucking left in there right now.

I think this is when I cave and ask for an extension.

A long one.

[info]ammitnox wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:03 pm (UTC)
Bah, I already have plans the weekend of June 21st. :(

Also: It's not a tumaaaah.
[info]hysteresismonky wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:09 pm (UTC)
Absinthe and laudanum have been popular with writers for solving this problem.

I suspect, though, that there are modern-day equivalents which are far healthier. Climbing walls (as you've already discovered), mountaintops, putting Tangerine Dream's Force Majeure on loop (the fourth time through you start seein' shit), or even just short-term rearrangements of your circadian rhythms.

Personally, I like tea. Strong black tea, brewed properly the Douglas Adams way, added to half-and-half (I'm a heathen) and honey. Allow to cool to room temperature, and chug in one go (makes the blood levels of various compounds spike). Make sure paper and pen are handy.

It's subjective and anecdotal, but I swear tea affects me very differently than coffee.
[info]joycemocha wrote:
Apr. 3rd, 2008 03:15 am (UTC)
Downhill skiing is what I recommend.

Problem is, until you reach a certain skill level (at least where I live), you're limited to six months out of the year. And if you have a day job...

(she schemes to find an excuse to go skiing this weekend after all!)

Must acquire black steep ice skiing skills. Then I can ski Palmer.
[info]pmrabble wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:12 pm (UTC)
Yay! Much less upset about missing WisCon this year now. Prereg Done!

(reads rest of post - realizes the wallet is about to experience another Bear siphon...)
[info]jess_ka wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:13 pm (UTC)
You said colocated.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:18 pm (UTC)
Is that okay?
[info]jess_ka wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:21 pm (UTC)
It's awesome, I love it. It's such a clicky good word. Plus it was in a sentence involving a cat. That's why I gave you the happycat icon. :)
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
wooo!
[info]pameladean wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
I felt EXACTLY THE SAME WAY that you describe for large portions of the writing of Going North. I really did worry about brain damage. In my case I was coming out of, not a period of hyperproductivity, but rather the opposite, so I just kept telling myself that I was rusty. It's hideously disconcerting and makes the already annoying, boriong, frustrating slog even sloggier. You have my total sympathy. I used to wake up feeling as if I had three root canals ahead of me, when it was just the next two thousand words. I had never before dreaded sitting down at the keyboard.

Things did perk up eventually, but then I was writing the equivalent of two books.

*hug*

P.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:33 pm (UTC)
*hugrightback*

Yeah. It's really helpful, by the way, to hear that I am not the only one.

I mean seriously, I sit there and think "Is there an incipient aneurysm pressing on part of my brain? What is going on in there?"

And then I am called on to do editorial work on someone else's story, and all the mad skillz are RIGHT THERE where I left them.

Brain. Really. Get it together.
[info]pameladean wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
I'm awfully glad we'll get to meet in June.

I hoped it would be helpful, and am glad that it was.

I know what you mean. I did seriously even look up various neurological problems to see if I had them. It's fortunate that I didn't have enough symptoms of any of them to really scare myself. But when your whole creative mechanism is lurching and creaking and slipping its gears, what are you to think?

It's good you have the sanity check of critiquing.

P.
[info]xterminal wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
Hazel, he supposed the color was called--but tawny was the right word, for everything about her should be defined in terms of predators.

While I do not doubt your wisdom in cutting this-- it's kinda, um, unsubtle-- I love it.

Love it.
[info]matociquala wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:38 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's possibly the only sentence of today's work that's staying. *g*

I like it too.
[info]xterminal wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
You've already got me wanting to date her, and I don't even know her yet!
[info]laurel wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 06:46 pm (UTC)
More Fourth Street info:

Fourth Street Website
[info]4th_st_fantasy (discussion)
[info]fourthstfeed (Feed for news posted to the front of the Fourth Street website)

Hope the writing starts going better soon. Very much looking forward to Fourth Street (it was my favorite con back in the day).
[info]uilos wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:10 pm (UTC)
Stupid, stupid conflicting gaming con. I am positively green with envy that I can't go to Fourth Street. Also that you have a mango and I don't.
[info]mmerriam wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
[info]careswen and I are looking forward to seeing you at 4th Street!
[info]yuripup wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:34 pm (UTC)
Ack! This weekend is I-Con??!!
[info]biomekanic wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
A friend of a friend was feeling rather stressed lately.
Her solution was to deal with the 'skeezy' dog house the previous home owner had left behind.
Dealing in this case meaning to take a large hammer and beat the thing into a heap of scrap and then burn it.

Just a thought.

Several of us have considered setting up a business were we make skeezy dog houses for people to demolish with hammers, I think it has potential.
[info]faithhopetricks wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
but tawny was the right word, for everything about her should be defined in terms of predators

Oh my, that is pretty. I do hope you keep it.
[info]andyleggett wrote:
Apr. 2nd, 2008 10:13 pm (UTC)
Bbbzzzzzz....!!!!
I keep on wanting to say something encouraging like, "I believe in you, Bear!", but I think I"ll just shake my pompoms like a good little fly. That way I'll be easier to swat. ^_^
[info]joeboo_k wrote:
Apr. 3rd, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
Thanks for the heads up about the con. I've wanted to go to one for a couple of years now and I'm not going to travel, so that limits it to the two Minnesota ones I knew of, but this might be just the one to step into. :)

Excitement.
[info]laurel wrote:
Apr. 5th, 2008 09:07 am (UTC)
We're actually getting to the point where there's a SF con almost every month in Minnesota or at least it seems like it. Definitely more than two or three. This page has a good list of midwestern cons, it's a little out of date (it's missing Fourth Street), but I'll pester the author (my husband) to update it soon.

[info]kitapsolucani wrote:
Apr. 3rd, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
I look forward to meeting you at I-con :)
~Heather~
[info]thought1 wrote:
Apr. 5th, 2008 01:00 am (UTC)
*cheers*

Brust seriously rocks my world. I am even more sad now that I won't be able to make it out there. (I mean, honestly, Minneapolis is BFE if you live on one of the coasts, but I suppose that's a good thing for some writers...) (:

In other news... *Mmmmmm, steamed buns* *drools*
( 46 comments — Leave a comment )

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