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bear by san

February 2017



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Overheard at WisCon

11.) "I need to pee--"
       "Not here."

12.) R'lyehan tourist phrasebook:

Help. I am being devoured by your octopus.

My species does not breathe water.

No thank you. I do not wish a fungus.

I'm sorry, no. I have claustrophobia.

You seem to have a frog in your throat.
You seem to have a frog in your soup.
You seem to have a frog in your pants.

Would you like a lemon drop?


Casa Cthulhu appreciates Number 12.

We've had a bottle of mead. We're giggling far too hard now!
I was at a gathering of authors after a signing at Pandemonium, and at one point, people were discussing a phrasebook entirely made of phrases that you hoped you'd never need to use in other languages. People threw out a whole bunch of them, and there was laughter, and it sort of drifted off, and suddenly, from the other end of the table, Joe Haldeman quietly said, "That was not the leg you were supposed to amputate."
A friend of mine was getting knee surgery in Hong Kong and was just going under when suddenly he realized the doctors were talking (in Mandarin) about performing the surgery on the wrong knee.

Fortunately, he managed to convey this to them before he passed out...
I am guessing that the R'lyehan tourist phrasebook is an homage to Joanna Russ' 1972 lexicon story "Useful Phrases for the Tourist". It is also entirely made of win. Ia! Ia!
Love #12.


What is the way to the nearest restroom in my dimensional locus?

Re: Ha!

Nearest restroom suitable for my anatomy and physiology, please! I don't know what creatures from other dimensions use for toilets, and I don't want to find out by accident.
Just thought you might like to know: Wil Wheaton has blogged about this.
I saw! Thank you. (I read Wil's blog. *g*)
OK - I didn't know if you read him or not and wanted to be sure you saw this. :-)
Ah, useful phrases as you're driven insane and having your mind consumed.

Uh, wait, Me hovercraft is full of eels. No, that doesn't sound right. ARGH!