Lead, follow, or get out of the way
- Oct. 18th, 2008 at 10:38 AM
The appropriate response to outrage over injustice is not, "Why are you surprised by that?" (With implied scorn for the other's naivete.) A pose of facile cynicism may be a comforting way to express your defense mechanisms, but outrage =/= surprise, and by conflating the two in an attempt to make your neighbors feel awkward and unhip, you are revealing far more about yourself than you are about them.
Outrage is useful, people. Outrage is what gets things done. Outrage is the thing that gets people off their asses to create change.
Telling people who are outraged that their naivete is mockable is the moral equivalent of telling a teenager with a desire to become an artist that they're better off getting a secretarial job than trying for a scholarship, and they should plan for disappointment. Of course they're going to be disappointed. Life is about disappointment.
Living life well is also about doing something about that disappointment. And trying to stop people from making the world better makes us into people who suck.
I understand that it's been a rough few years, and a lot of us are up to our necks in defense mechanisms. And I understand that sometimes it's more comfortable to assume that things can't be changed. But the answer is not to shoot down the people who are making an attempt.
The answer is to go eat a brownie, and then lie down with a cool towel until the apathy passes. And if you can't pitch in to help, that's okay.
But stop telling that kid she'll never even get into art school.
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What I try to avoid now is getting angry about things. That doesn't actually help. You need to go straight from outrage to practical action without letting all the energy dissipate in unprofitable rage.
I realize that people get overwhelmed by the enormity of the world's problems, but there's always something they can do to help. This is especially true at the local level. Every community has organizations fighting the good fight that are desperate for volunteers and resources.
Other than that, I absolutely agree. The other thing about those cynics is that they ignore the crucial difference between somewhat bad and horrendous.
Succinct. Excellent.
To paraphrase Bruce Cockburn, if you just accept bad things as the way things are, life will only get worse.
Besides, I want to be outraged at certain people or events. It reminds me I'm human and can still feel.
Speaking of art school anecdotes, my grandfather kept telling all the way through my misspent youth that I should become a teacher or a nurse or something that would put bread on the table in the eventuality that my husband would keel over dead, but I should put this art thing down as a hobby. My parents told me to ignore him and cheerleaded me into my graphic design career with nary a blink. And now with the exception of my brother and one other cousin, I make more money than any of the other grandkids, I am STILL NOT MARRIED--which to my Mormon family is practically apocalyptical--and even if I were to enter the state of matrimony, I would damn well expect to keep up with my career. (Because sane, independent, and happy is better than infantilized and dependent.)
Some people think that what needs fixing is people with other preferences. Everybody should want to drive rather than taking the bus. (What about people who can't afford cars? Let the state or local government buy used cars for them. But not one cent for public transit!)
Or: Everyone should want to cook and eat local, organic food. Something must be done to make the people who don't agree with this sane!
Note: These are not hypothetical examples.
Fairly obviously I'm not pro stiffling debate as a way of 'winning'. If someone wants to change the world in a way that I don't agree with, I would generally feel that honest opposition is a better way to go than any kind of tactical humiliation. Let's face it, part of the reason politics has become such a wasteland is that instead of talking about the issues politicians play these same tactical games (forget about arguing whether plan X is sensible, announce that the person who thought up (or champions) plan X is clearly naive and inexperienced and not ready to hold office). Last thing in the world I want is to see more of that kind of political game in places like lj... where we should be able to express ourselves -- even if we're wrong and need telling we're wrong :D
It works the other way too - when they are struggling with an issue, I can say "well, what can you do about it?" and even if all they can do is put on those metaphorical big girl/big boy pants and deal with it, then that is at least a positive decision.
And basically, it's the same with this. Some people just can't show respect.
And it's not about freedom of speech, as some would have it.
Freedom of speech does NOT mean that we should say condescending or hateful things to people, because if we know what hurts and still do it - it's just a bad excuse to be mean.
And to be honest, I dont think it's about cynisism either. I'm very cynical and when I see someone get angry, I can still relate to it OR get cynical towards the same thing the other person is angry about.
Though I admit that there are times when someone is being all "newly-outraged" at me for the third or ninth or hundredth time about the same issue that I want to shout "stop yelling at me and go complain at the people doing it, or organize a protest, or otherwise start doing something about it."
If our dreams and intentions are to mean anything, we have to be able to make them real even if the world refuses to cosset us. The people who have changed the world for the better rarely did it accompanied by their cheerleaders.
Don't lead, don't follow, just live with integrity what you believe.
One of the most crazy things I think we do as humans is to fuck others over in the ways that we've been fucked. And not in that good happy way that we like. I'm pretty tired of hearing people be cuel to each other.
And I'm pretty tired of being defensive when people are cruel. But then it happens to me so seldom these days. But maybe I want to go to art school, I can't decide. Maybe I need a brownie.
Wow.
I <3 Muppets. More than art school or brownies.
Muppetlove in spades.