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No shit there I was--

  • Oct. 13th, 2009 at 8:29 PM
criminal minds reid eat
Okay, so we all know the difference between a fairy tale and a war story, right?

It is this: a fairy tale starts, "Once upon a time..." A war story begins, "No shit, there I was."

So one of the more amazing things that happened at VPXIII was Sean Craven's chili dog casserole, which is sort of the culinary equivalent of crack!fic.

The recipe is posted here, and, well, it's the funniest recipe you're likely to read in the extended internet absence of [info]standuponit.

You can feel the chemicals crawling around in your veins on little spiked feet afterwards. It's kind of a humbling experience.

And if I ever make it, it will involve Velveeta.
  • Mood: amused
  • Music:TBRE watching sports in the next room

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( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]skogkatt wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 12:39 am (UTC)
I don't know how I missed that casserole. It seems like the hot item of VPXIII, and yet, I had no idea it existed until I came home. Sad.
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[info]enggirl wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 12:40 am (UTC)
He should write a cookbook. I'd sit and read it like a novel.
If I'd been there this year rather than last, I'd have made crack for dessert (ingredients: saltines, butter, brown sugar, chocolate chips, peanutbutter chips). These two recipes deserve each other.
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[info]ashnistrike wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)
Share? It sounds like chocolate glazed matzah, only not with matzah, and with not-kosher-for-Passover peanut butter chips.
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[info]skogkatt wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 01:16 am (UTC)
Please explain this recipe. I must try it.
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[info]enggirl wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 01:25 am (UTC)
I guess I shouldn't have been so cagey :)

Crack recipe:

Oven to 350

Wrap a cookie sheet in tin foil and spray with nonstick stuff. Cover with a layer of Saltines (yeah, the kind with salt on them). They're not perfectly square, so you'll have to jimmy them around a bit to get them to fit right.

In a pot, bring a cup of butter and a cup of brown sugar to a boil. Stir it a bit (original recipe says not to stir it, but I do and all has turned out fine) and let it bubble away for about 4 minutes. You want it to be smoothish or the final product will be grainy.

Pour over saltines and smooth to edges with wooden spoon. Bake for 6 minutes. Remove from oven, turn oven off, and sprinkle a 12-oz. bag of chocolate chips and a bag (usually 8-oz.) of peanut butter chips all over the concoction. Put back in oven for a minute or until the chips are shiny and you can easily smoosh them down with a fork and smooth the chocolate/pb all over the saltines. Let cool, then place in fridge, and when hard "crack" it apart into pieces.

And don't say I didn't warn you :)
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[info]matociquala wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 01:37 am (UTC)
That's AWFUL.

...I'm enroute.

Edited at 2009-10-14 01:37 am (UTC)
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[info]txanne wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 01:41 am (UTC)
My mom does something similar with graham crackers and pecans. And, yes, crack.
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[info]skogkatt wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 01:56 am (UTC)
Oh my god, this sounds amazing. I have to try it.
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[info]b1bl10v0re wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 02:06 am (UTC)
*grin* that is crack & one of my favorites to bake ;)
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[info]radiotelescope wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 04:32 pm (UTC)
Genius!

Or maybe I should shout "EVIL!" but in the way that the sages did in _The Story of the Stone_, pushing away a power too pure and tempting to be used by flawed mortals.

No, that's right, I am flawless and pure and have butter in the fridge. Right-o. But no peanut butter chips. Hm. Plans. Permutations. More butter. Okay.

(You don't *ask* whether I have *chocolate* at the ready.)

The casserole sounds lovely too, but I don't think I could bake it. Too much knowledge, etc.
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[info]txanne wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 12:49 am (UTC)
I'd be all over that.
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[info]gailmom wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 12:54 am (UTC)
Dang, that should have had a warning: reading it while trying to eat caused me to choke on a pickled pepper...

the funny was worth the pain though. :)
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[info]sinboy wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 12:59 am (UTC)
I can feel the artificial flavor ALL THE WAY FROM OVER HERE.

*shudder*.

Excuse me, I'll be over here reading "The Nero Wolfe Cookbook" as therapy.
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[info]thesaucernews wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 01:28 am (UTC)
If I were ever to compile a list of Foods I Must Eat Before I Snuff It, this would be on that list.

For obvious reasons, it would probably be near the bottom.

Also, if I ever discover that I've been revived a thousand years in the future as a head in a jar, I would not be surprised to learn it was because I collapsed into the casserole having died at the attempt, after which they just sort of walled me off like Yucca Mountain, leaving my head as the only bit that survived. I bet my skin would be flawless.
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[info]casacorona wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 02:11 am (UTC)
Not just Velveeta...Mexican Velveeta!

Reading that was almost as good as eating it would be. If I could eat it. Which I can't right now.
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[info]xiphias wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 02:16 am (UTC)
. . . I . . . just can't TELL if I want to eat that or not.

I'm certain that, if I were sleep-deprived and drinking beer, I would, though.
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[info]thought1 wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 02:43 am (UTC)
Brilliant!
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[info]zeelandia wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 04:01 am (UTC)
I'd like to put in a vote that YES Wolf Brand chili is just that good.

Mmmmm...parts.
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[info]thesaucernews wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 04:18 am (UTC)
Second.
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[info]galeni wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 06:24 am (UTC)
([info]standuponit last posted just about the timing of www.shadowunit.org 2.08. Hope he's eating enough and maybe taking care of any betas he may happen to find.)

Wild recipe. Obvious the love child of green bean/onion casserole and a 7/11. Wow.
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[info]matociquala wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 12:50 pm (UTC)
All it needs is a can of cream of mushroom soup.... *g*
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[info]themaskmaker wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 12:40 pm (UTC)
Wow.

That is all.
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[info]evynrude wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 01:16 pm (UTC)
When you make this, I'll be needing an invite, please! *g*
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[info]matociquala wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 01:25 pm (UTC)
If you come over today, you can have soup...

(I could make that for Halloween. That should be scary enough. *g*)
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[info]pixel39 wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 03:43 pm (UTC)
Velveeta! *sings* "It's the Spam of the cheeses, it's sure to appease, it's Vel-veeeeeee-ta! It's the cheese with the perfect disguise!"

Sorry, had to channel Uncle Banzai there for a moment.
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[info]matociquala wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 05:06 pm (UTC)
....What if we put SPAM in this???
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[info]pixel39 wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 06:20 pm (UTC)
...

Would you really be able to tell, since there are hot dogs in there already? I suppose the SPAM would be squareish and the hot dogs are roundish, so visually one would be able to differentiate even if one's tongue could not.
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[info]sprrwhwk wrote:
Oct. 14th, 2009 05:25 pm (UTC)
Ohhhh mannnn... That sounds... really quite good, actually. It's, like, 300% of your daily recommended allowance of umami. Mmmmmmm...
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( 28 comments — Leave a comment )

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