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April 2016



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bear by san

till a casket from the witchwood bears my body to the grave

Pudge Report progress notes  

By the way, I am not looking for diet advice or suggestions, thank you. I have a plan that works for me and keeps me healthy. I am open to discussion and conversation about what other folks do to increase their health, however.

Well, as of today, I have lost approximately 85 pounds from my peak weight. I've lost about seven inches off my waist, nine off my bust, and nine or ten off my hips. (I'm not exactly sure what my peak weight was, because I couldn't look at a scale or a measuring tape, but it was somewhere around 290. I firmly believe in anybody's goddamn right to live in a body they like and are comfortable in without harassment or ridicule. However, for me, that was kind of awful and unhealthy. And uncomfortable.)

I am down from size 20 jeans to size 14, and from a 40DD bra to a 36E. (I know, they don't look quite that big, but I have huge shoulders, thank cod.)

At this point, I am off my hypertension meds (unmedicated blood pressure around 126/72, where it peaked at 160/95)--and today, I have a new and exciting milestone, as I noticed that when Rodney Yee tells me to hollow my belly... I can! And I can almost do a lunge without having to jostle my tummy out of the way. Another fifteen pounds or so and I may not even have that.

My goal weight is a nice fit 165, although as we get closer to that I'm going to start paying more attention to the mirror and my waist-hip ratio and less to the scale.

I've started supplementing heavily this past week (I was taking a multivitamin and fish oil: in a fit of irritation at mediocre iron levels and general tiredness I have added calcium, iron, potassium, magnesium, and a b-complex). It seems to be working. I'm perkier, anyway... and it makes me feel a little safer about the level of calorie restriction it takes to get my damned Ukrainian metabolism to use its stored energy. It's not insane--1500-2000 calories--but it's hard to get everything your body needs on a 1600 calorie diet, so the pills it is. Pro Tip: Wyman's Wild Maine Blueberries frozen in the giant bag. Good for your blood pressure and everything else, and a whopping 30 calories a half-cup. Also, fucking delicious.

Also, according to my third or fourth differential for the same damned problem, I may have an autoimmune disorder--psoriasis--that has picked the last few months to flare up. Well, it *might* be psoriasis. It's been previously diagnosed as eczema, as seborrheic dermatitis, and as a fungal infection. The steroids seem to be helping, but it's early days; we'll see. If it is psoriasis, well, yay, that could explain some of my Mysterious Joint Pain... it also puts me at higher risk for early arthritis and for lymphoma... not so yay. I have another checkup in two weeks. You would not believe how much the steroid shampoo costs. (!))

So here's to clearing that up and getting under 200 pounds by year's end, ay?


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Hey, you seem to be making progress to aa goal that you are happy about with a reasonable plan and attention to the sorts of metrics that can tell you if you are veering off into danger areas. Awesome! It is about time for me to change my wellness plan. I've hit a bit of a plateau due in large part to having moved some place much less of a bike ride from work. (I started at 320, and I'm down to 270. I'd like to get to 230, and my eventual goal is 200, but I'm way better off than I was 2 years ago, so I'm happy.)
Go team you.

I like being able to get out of a chair without grunting. And the way my butt doesn't hit the steering wheel when I get in a car.
Congratulations! That's awesome!
thank you!
You are fabulous and inspirational!

Time to kick my butt in gear. (Any gear :)
Lower up hills, so you can coast coming down!
My gamer friends got me into Fitocracy, which lets you log your exercises for your friends to see (and comment on or give you props for) and gives you experience points for exercising— so as you exercise, you level up. Silly, but fun.
Yeah, that's why I have been avoiding that site. *g* The LAST thing I need is anything to make me MORE competitive...
You're ahead of me. I'm at 210 down from max of 230. I could loose down to 140 if I'd just get off my duff and exercise. . . . I eat my fruit serving for dessert -- the sugary stuff at the end of the meal hitting your blood stream tells your body you're done eating. A lot of small meals instead of 3 big ones works too -- your tum shrinks down and it doesn't take as much food to make you feel full. Peanut butter has been given a bad rap. It's actually a great source of protein. I've become addicted to yogurt with fruit in. It's probably the B complex that's giving you the energy. Steroids make you feel good too.
What are you doing for nutrition? I can get motivated to exercise, so long as I find one that's fun (right now, it's swimming -- the Y's got an indoor pool) -- but I can't manage to do anything with my nutrition, so my weight doesn't change. I've been 220-230 pounds for as long as I can remember, and the BMI charts say I ought to be 150 (which will NEVER happen), but I'd like to be 185 or so. And I just can't get my nutrition working.
"the discipline" tag talks about the nutrition aspect--basically, I weigh or measure everything that goes in my mouth, and I write it down.

I was using fitday.com to track my intake, but they broke the interface and anyway the damned thing logs you out every fifteen minutes, so after seven years of fussing with it I've switched to sparkpeople.com, which is a little fucking touchy feely for me, but it does nag me to drink water, so that's actually helping.

Basically, what I did was figure out my metabolic rate (all of these sites will guesstimate that for you) and then undercut it in terms of caloric intake by about 500 points. I also try to eat whole grains, lean proteins, healthy fats, colorful vegetables, things with antioxidants in. Low glycemic index foods when possible; the highest available nutritional bang for the buck. Sweet potatoes over white potatoes; broccoli over onion rings; molasses over sugar. *g*

I aim for around 100 grams of protein a day, less that 30% fat, and mostly unrefined carbs and healthy fat sources (fish, avocados, nuts, olives).

I also try to vary my caloric intake day to day, and let myself have a couple of days a week without a deficit to keep my metabolism from getting too stuck.

Basically, it's a refined form of "less in, more out."
Oh, and the more muscle you can acquire, the more fat you will burn. You may be leaner than you think you are. Muscle is heavier than fat.
Yes, I know. Thank you.

I did say I wasn't looking for advice, I think?
(I know, they don't look quite that big, but I have huge shoulders, thank cod.)

I think we have very skewed ideas of what breast sizes look like. You know the project people did where they had pictures of people and labeled them with their BMI and the tag that goes on their BMI ("overweight," "underweight," etc.)? I wish there was a good way to do that with cup sizes that wouldn't feel completely prurient. Even just various women with normal street clothes on: this is the range of what an A-cup can look like, this is what the range of a DD can look like, and yes, you probably know someone who's an F-cup, because look, it's not actually mind-boggling and freakish.
Indeed. Although I do sort of miss being a B/C-cup. My back hurt less.
I love reading these state-of-me posts. Congratulations! You're an inspiration.
thank you. *g*
::standing ovation::

The thing that impresses and pleases me the most is that you are off the hyptertension meds. That says "healthier" a lot more effectively than "under a certain size", and I hope you can manage to keep it.
Yeah. High blood pressure and diabetes killed my grandmother, and I'd just as soon go out some less horrible way...
I just wanted to say thanks for these posts. I've got an eating disorder, and generally find dieting talk triggery. But, you come across so sensible and sane about the whole thing, it's like my brain goes, "Oh hey, it's possible to follow a food plan without going crazy!" I think the reminder is good for me. Especially since I don't always get that outlook from my 12-step program, sadly. :)
Ugh. No, sometimes support groups don't work as they should. :-P

I've had my own food-related crazy, and I am working very hard not to repeat/propagate it.

I just want to feel good, be able to run up stairs, and not have to take a lot of pills with various weird side effects. Including coughing all damned night...
Oh my god, I can eat a half-cup of frozen blueberries for only 30 calories? You've just made my night. I'm going to look for those.

Also, congratulations. Your posts are inspirational - I've found that this whole "trying to get my health under control" thing has made me touchy and a little ashamed of myself, and it's really helpful to see someone else having great success with it. Good luck and best wishes on the continuing project.
You can! They make awesome tiny drinkable ice cubes in seltzer, too.

It's been a long, kind of tough road--I was in pretty good shape when I moved to Las Vegas, before depression, falling into bad habits, and a shitty environment took its toll...

...and it's not like it hasn't had its ups and downs. :-P I gained thirty-five pounds back last year, and have been struggling to get them off again since March. But at least I'm back where I was at the end of 2009... and this time I will be more careful.

Best wishes to you, too--and good luck.
I'm starting slowly on my own Quest Not To Be Chair Shaped, so I'm enjoying you as the Long Term Plan Exemplar.

Right now I'm getting back into walking as exercise, just to build habits and /have/ a habit. I'm getting a gym membership as a Christmas present, which is unfortunately timed, but financial reality dictates. I figure I can resolve, as a New Year's Resolution, not to exercise, since I'm already doing that, but instead to outlast the folks resolving to exercise.

I always enjoyed watching them attrit. By March, the gym is pleasantly empty again.
That's great. Good for you. And I hope the health issue isn't dire.
Mostly just itchy, painful, and embarrassing.
Colorful fruits and veggies taste darn good. I love sweet potatoes and blueberries.
It's helpful that they do taste good, isn't it? ;-) Helps make up for the... sigh... buttered pasta...
I'm going to steal Quest Not To Be Chair Shaped as a tag, thanks.
Soon The Knee will let me return to yoga and ballroom, those & sex are the only ways I actually like sweating.
thanks Bear. 230# & 5'4 & 42 means I'm seriously collecting peoples in my cohort who are making an effort. It helps to hear your stories.

Edited at 2011-12-07 05:35 am (UTC)
woo hoo! Welcome to the Quest. *g* And yeah, it seems like my entire generation of writers woke up one morning, took three tries to get out of bed, and said "...this can't go on."
Wow! Huzzah!

68 down, 32 to go, here. I like being able to sleep on my 3/4 front/side and not have my breathing restricted by pudge, nor my lower back twarked by same in different area. Belly dancing is fun with loose bits! When I shimmy there is significant inertia! ;D

Edited at 2011-12-07 06:50 am (UTC)
For me, I can lie on my back again without pain, and sleep on my side. (I had to sleep on my stomach when I was heavier, because the belly killed my back.)

It's nice to have my freedom of mobility back, and the prospect of regaining more.

(And good for you! I took belly dance for a while: it was fun.)

Edited at 2011-12-07 01:51 pm (UTC)
You are such an inspiration. God, I wish I knew my body half as well as you know yours. 'Awh boo' on the perhaps!psoriasis, but good to maybe get a correct diagnosis?

I've plateaued at about 180 for the past... well, couple of years, really. I lost about 28-30 pounds in 07/08, in preparation for the wedding. I tried losing some weight earlier this year, my goal primarily being around 145 (which BMI calculators tell me would be a good weight, but like you, it'd probably be a mirror-based decision as I get closer as to how far down I should go), but no dice. Now, though, with the baby on the way, I try to eat as right as humanly possible and exercise about every other day, because when it's just my health it's one thing, but I don't want the kid to suffer and/or grow up to be like me, you know? I've gained and then lost a few pounds, so last time I was in for a check-up (16 weeks) I was actually about a pound lighter than when I got pregnant. I also just tested negative for gestational diabetes, so that's at least something.

I'm hoping to hold steady at this weight for at least a few more weeks, so that I'm losing net weight. My doctor watches my diet hawkishly to make sure I get my nutrients, but otherwise he's happy with the weightloss, obviously.

I usually run on a treadmill for excercise, but I can tell I need to do some more strength, especially for my back. I'm desperately scared of banjaxing my knees, being as I am An Elephant on the Run, plus I'm starting to feel the weight of... I guess the womb, actually, as a heavy presence in my abdomen, so I'm probably going to transition to elliptical machines and exercise bikes in the not-too-distant future.

Edited at 2011-12-07 07:04 am (UTC)
Well, that knowledge is hard-won. I have a genetic predisposition both to high blood pressure and to looking like a fireplug, and these things don't go hand in hand very well... at least in terms of positive outcomes for my brain!

Hey, you may find that eating right gains you the health you need. The BMI calculators are pretty useless for people with muscle or big frames--my doctor actually took me to task to make sure I planned to *stop* before I reached my actuarial-chart weight, her point being that with my bones and biceps it was a fool's errand and a ticket to malnutrition.

And my friend and sometime workout partner ashacat was going to the gym until two days before she delivered her firstborn, terrifying the interfering little old ladies. At a certain point she switched to walking... but hey, being in shape helps with short labors.

So go team you! And congratulations!
What a great report.
I'm struggling right now with bad eating habits and weight gain and am fighting to pull myself out of the bad habits and emotional eating but it is so hard.
I will strive to use you as a role model.
Do you weigh and measure everything or just keep only the right foods around?
It is so freaking hard. (There's a little bug in my ear going ZOMG KATE ELLIOTT WANTS TO USE ME AS A ROLE MODEL?)

I can't keep just healthy food in the house, since I live with two other people, one of whom is chronically skinny and has low blood pressure and pretty much lives on hamburger, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, whipped cream, scrambled eggs, butter, and peanut butter toast. *g* Also, I like good cheese too much to give it up.

So yeah, I have a kitchen scale and a set of measuring cups and I pretty much weigh or measure everything--though I'm getting better at eyeballing.

Some of it is just getting used to writing down everything you eat. When you know that 400 calories for the pie is going to have to come out of somewhere, or Sparkpeople is going to tell you you went over your calorie goal, it helps.

I also do things like making a big pot of vegetarian beans and eating it for lunch all week... it helps to have mostly boring food on hand, and to remember that I can eat it tomorrow if I don't eat it today.

And I've found two varieties of whole-grain pasta that aren't too bad, one of thich is 100% whole wheat. (It's 365 Organic, and it's even not outrageously expensive. The Barilla high-protein pasta (Barilla Plus) and Barilla whole wheat (which is not 100% whole grain) are also both excellent.) Wasa rye crackers, especially the rosemary ones... steel-cut oats...

When I'm really restricting, I only get one meal with refined carbs a day, and no alcohol, which is a sad state of affairs...

But we call it The Discipline for a reason. And I do mostly take conventions off. *g*
You're awesome. I'm just sayin'.
Hey, not being mistaken for your boyfriend's mother is a powerful motivator. ;-)
FWIW, my guy has (the heartbreak of) psoriosis, and finds that whenever he restricts dairy, particularly dairy with fat (cheese vs non-fat yogurt) it eases up, as does basking in the sun.

Thanks. I wasn't looking for advice, alas--and if it were linked to dairy in me, I'd be covered with it constantly. UVB is pretty well attested as helping, but as a fair-skinner person who also lives in the northeast, sun basking is not an option for me.

I wonder if losing weight would make a difference in blood pressure for me? Probably not much, since I wouldn't want to lose more than about 10-15 lbs - lower than that and I get sick a lot more often. (I know you've had similar findings.) What I really need to do is kick my lifelong pretzel habit, which would probably fix both things. But I do need to eat often or I feel yucky, so I'd just have to have a substitute. (Nuts do help.)

My husband was just complaining, because with his recent ridiculous workout schedule (one half marathon on the rowing machine EVERY DAY from Thanksgiving to Dec 10, minus the week he traveled on business) he's been gaining weight. I'm pretty sure that's just the normal thing where you do gain at first whenever you up your workouts.

I was particularly interested to hear that the supplements are making a real difference in how you feel. Might need to try that.
Actually, ten pounds can make a difference.

Even five can. :-P (Your husband may in fact be gaining muscle, too... or his body may be hanging on to more water if he's drinking more during the workouts.... both of which are good things, up to a point)

I found that when I cut way back on refined carbs, my blood sugar fluctuations vanished. :-P Also, my PMS got significantly better, as did my freaking depression. And now, while I get *hungry*, it's belly-hunger, not wooziness and irritability, which is so much more supportable.

I am kind of horrified by what I've apparently been doing to my blood sugar all these years....

And yeah, the supplements are really helping. I've noticed this before with iron and the b vitamins in particular.

Thank you

Just this morning I was telling myself I need to get off my damn butt and get back to doing Weight Watchers, which helped me lose over 65# last year. I know I've regained some of it. I don't know how much because I haven't stepped on the scale in a while. You've inspired me to do just that, regardless of what I see there tomorrow morning. Thanks for the nudge and congratulations on your success!

Re: Thank you

I have confidence in you. *g*
I read that as "Wild Mare Blueberries." Which conjured up all kinds of odd ideas. Maine is probably a better place to get one's wild blueberries from.

Also, congratulations, dude!
Thank you!

Down another pound this morning. Stay... on... target...

Curiously, all those thanksgiving leftovers are really helping... because a lot of it is veggies and lean meat. Yay!
Rock on, Bearpaws.

+10 to frozen blueberries. Hi, my name is Liz, and I'm a frozen blueberry addict. I eat a giant bowl of them most nights. Sometimes I'll throw them in my oatmeal in the morning.

And definitely with you on food that is food. My neurologist put me on a food plan that cuts out a million migraine triggers -- so along with no onions or chocolate, no MSG or corn syrup, or anything that's "___ protein" or "protein isolate," etc. (Who accidentally bought a case of whey protein before she realized that she couldn't have it? Sigh.)

I feel a lot better, and I know I'm putting things into me that my body was designed to break down. We're also definitely joining a CSA next year.
Huh. Whey protein is one of my go-to resources for getting enough protein while restricting calories. It's a migraine trigger? (I don't get 'em, but I know somebody who does.)

And yeah, CSA veggies are so nice. They have food in them! You can tell from how they taste!

(We say around the house, "Hey! There's food in this food!")
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