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bear by san

March 2017



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me and a troll

they had one thing in common. they were good in bed.

Achievement unlocked: tree pose with my foot on my opposite thigh, not the knee or calf.

Also, back down to more or less my lowest weight since I started this journey, which is where I was pre-West-Nile virus.

I'm really happy with myself right now, and happy with my physical strength and stamina. I'm exercising enough, currently, that the challenge is keeping up with my body's protein and carbohydrate demands in a healthy way, which also means I can be a little more self-indulgent in terms of The Discipline than I have been for a long time.

Man, it's nice to have a cider or a cookie basically whenever I want. I mean, I'm still hungry a lot (I'm hungry right now: I get to start making dinner in half an hour, though) but it's not a rigorously controlled 1700 calories a day. It's more like 2100 with some slough in it, and since I've gotten really good at getting all my nutrients into 1700 calories, I've got 400 calories of eating stuff basically because it tastes good to play with.

Which means tonight I am making little individual chocolate chip microwave blondies, after scott_lynch and I get back from weightlifting.

In other news, Shoggoths in Bloom publication date and the Titanium Physicists podcast discussed over on the other blog.


You looked utterly amazing in Chicago -- strong, healthy, and gorgeous.

Trying to keep you in mind as I get back to working out and eating properly. I need to make a What Would Bear Do? sign. :D
Thank you!

I feel quite literally better than I have in years.
Good for you!

So, um, tell me more about these microwave blondies?
They were acceptable. The recipe is over on my tumblr.


I did a little less fussing with zomg organic everything than the OP.
I really like the idea of being able to make single serving decadence. I may have to try these myself.
Whee! Congratulations on unlocking achievement!

the challenge is keeping up with my body's protein and carbohydrate demands in a healthy way

Oh man TELL me about it. It's been actively shocking to me, these last two weeks especially, just how HUNGRY I am all the time because of lifting. Not so much immediately in the wake of the exercise, but in all the hours afterward.
This doesn't really make me want to go out and start being more active.* Being hungry all the time SUCKS, so I'd end up eating handfuls of almonds (or something) constantly. On a more idiosyncratic bent, hunger/low blood sugar is one of my migraine triggers, so I prefer to avoid it. I don't usually get the icepick-to-optic-nerve kind of migraine anymore (I miss them, and I would prefer them tbh, if only because they respond to medication); I get abdominal migraines, which are 2-4 hours wherein I exhibit all the symptoms of food poisoning. Yeah, fun. Thanks, body.

There has to be a way to be more active, increase strength and stamina, and generally improve one's health without starving in the process. Right? Right?? I don't care too much about losing weight; I'd be happy at my current weight if it were closer to 20% than 30% body fat. On the fitocracy boards, people are always talking about how little they're eating to lose weight, and I'm just going "... I'd be starving constantly. No."

*My current exercise regimen is tai chi class once a week and practicing when I'm not a lazy slug, so not as often as I should, and walking/walk-jogging periodically. Now that the weather isn't 90 degrees and humid, that may happen more often.
There has to be a way to be more active, increase strength and stamina, and generally improve one's health without starving in the process. Right?

For sure! As you're pointing out, bodies are different, so it's entirely possible that the work-out I do (mainly powerlifting/swimming/walking) won't result in the same pangs of hunger you're experiencing; for a lot of people the struggle is to eat a lot of protein to maintain/build mass IN SPITE of not being hungry enough all the time. For one thing I've always had a pretty fast metabolism; for another, the last couple of weeks were startling and abnormal in how hungry I was, which may have been a result of other factors (most probably womb-related in my case). Which isn't to say that you absolutely won't experience more hunger -- just that there's no One Way to achieve health and a positive body image.

On the fitocracy boards, people are always talking about how little they're eating to lose weight

Oh hey you're on Fitocracy! So am I! I've not seen those boards and kind of shun that rhetoric as much as possible, embracing Health at Every Size stuff instead.

I don't care too much about losing weight; I'd be happy at my current weight if it were closer to 20% than 30% body fat.

I'm leaning towards this as well -- if you're interested, a friend just posted a LOT about addressing body composition goals with diet, and listed a number of scholarly articles and resources and stuff on my blog (the thread starts here if you're interested -- just ignore the stuff that's about my actual post and read anything by the Anon signed rfloh. :) )

I hope something of this helps -- the last thing I'd want is for an off-the-cuff comment of mine to make someone feel discouraged about further activity!
I don't know if I eat enough protein--I don't really track it. I keep almonds and hazelnuts around, I eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day, my cereal has a lot of protein (for a cereal; 7 g I think). I learned the hard way a few years ago that I need to have protein regularly. (I'm vegetarian, and I sort of follow diabetic eating guidelines, since they seem to work for me. I don't count carbs, but if I have starch, I make sure there's protein to balance it.) Sometimes I start to fiend for protein, and that's when I get the tub o cottage cheese.

The fitocracy "weight loss" group is kind of focused on calorie restriction, though some people talk about doing paleo or other fad diets. I should really leave the group so it doesn't keep showing on my feed. Though I can mostly ignore it, even if I really have to fight the urge to comment "and do you pass out from hypoglycemia twice a day?"

I'm 5'2", 140 lbs, and, aside from the massive thigh problem and being short waisted, I can fit into a size 10 or 12. I'm fine with that. I'd like to have smaller thighs, and in theory building muscle gets rid of fat; I'm still waiting for that to happen.

Thanks for the link! I'll have a look at those later. I need to get ready to get out the door.
It sounds to me like you might be getting hungry because you're not eating enough protein. For me, when I'm doing strength exercises, I aim for one gram of protein per kilogram of me per day, and possibly a little more.

It seems like you eat dairy: fat free Greek yogurt and whey protein powder are both good places to pick up 20 grams of protein without noticing it.

I restrict calories, but I've been trying to lose 130 pounds (have gotten rid of 100) and I do not believe in restricting my intake beyond a certain point.

Also, you may find that if you are getting enough protein and brown carbs (they really do level out the blood sugar--I've had blood sugar issues for years and going mostly low-glycemic has made a huge change for me) then you're not hungry and have better energy.
I've been using Sparkpeople, which is pretty adamant about "You will not restrict beyond a certain range," and there are still some folks on the message boards who make me wince and think "Honey, you have an eating disorder. You need a doctor, not a fitness site."

I wonder if Fitocracy's competitive model encourages that?

Sparkpeople annoys me for other reasons--like its relentless perkiness--but I switched to it from Fitday largely because it has a better food database and integrates mileage tracking and water and so forth.

So I just stay away from the message boards. Because I need to take care of myself and be strong and healthy, not calorie restricting beyond all reason.

I too think people have every right to determine the body size that is right for them, and where they feel healthiest--the goal for me is not fitting into a size 8, or whatever, it's making sure my blood pressure and cholesterol are healthy.

So if you don't care about losing weight, it's easy to eat a maintenance diet focused on low-glycemic-index foods with lots of protein. That'll keep most people satiated--just make sure the calories in equal the calories out, more or less.

No need to go hungry at all.
You looked fantastic at Worldcon. You've always had a sparkle about you, but you radiated health.
Thank you.

I feel... well, better than I did pretty much at any time during my thirties. :-P
I have not had the pleasure of meeting you in person, but that pix that was up with the "Boojum" story, you be looking slender! (I am having some serious cheek bone envy now). I'm glad things are coming together for you on the personal front. Hope your next decade is liberally slathered with happiness.