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bear by san

March 2017



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the heartbreak of armpit fat.

I have just discovered the official silliest piece of fatphobia I have ever encountered in my born days.

Apparently, we are all now supposed to be terrified of exposing our unsightly armpit fat.

Based on my admittedly cursory internet research, and exemplified by the image above, I would worry about the health consequences for any woman concerned with armpit fat, because it would suggest that she is not doing her breast self-exam properly. What we see above, in the damning orange circles, is in fact part of the boob. And the problem is that Madam is not wearing a properly-fitting bra, as the one illustrated above is at least two cup sizes too small and one band size too large. The little metal bits (we call them 'underwires') are meant to lie flat against the ribcage, not sit halfway up Mount Doom like the track of a sidehill hoofer.

Why yes, I am supposed to be writing a novel. Why do you ask?

But the patriarchy is in my armpits. Some things just can't wait.



Do you think if she looked in the mirror without the bra on she'd still see a "problem"? Because even as a guy, the bra--especially on the left side of the picture--looks like it's kind of digging in to the skin.

Isn't it constricting/annoying to wear a bra that's not a good fit? I don't like wearing an undershirt that's snug, I can't imagine how much more annoying a bra that's improperly fitting would be.
Bras are annoying, period, even the ones that fit properly.

BREASTS are annoying. Unsupported breasts, if they are breasts of any size, are even more annoying. (Mine cause rather a lot of back pain.)

But bras should not hurt, or dig in, though they have to be snug or they don't offer proper support.
Breasts are annoying. Bras are annoying. Buying bras is annoying*. And trying to get reduction surgery is annoying, too, unless you're skinny, because then the whole weight thing comes into it, and what a giant clusterfuck that issue is, even before you approach the other other issue of health care/coverage/cost.

* I fervently wish that it were easier to get bras for breasts of large size without having to order online and play the "order four, then return three, then order three more of the size you kept" game or else pay nearly $100 per bra or both.

Edited at 2013-01-03 02:08 am (UTC)
And the further issue of the risks associated with reduction surgery, and the pain, and bodily integrity...

I get my bras from Bravissimo, and really love them. Good customer service, too.

But they cost a fortune, and shipping from the UK is slow and spendy.
Ayup. And concerns about appearance afterwards and which partners will judge you, because Lord knows there are never enough reasons to judge women's breasts, and so on.

I like Bravissimo, but their fit in the cups goes weird on me often enough that I definitely have to do the "buy and return" dance a lot, and at that cost... Oof.

I throw my hands up at the whole problem, really.

Breasts, yo. What a thing.
If you're ever near Westerly RI, I can't recommendZoe and Company highly enough. They're amazing.
Anyone know of any place other than Bravissimo? I can't afford from-England shipping. I use Title Nine for now, but I'd be curious about other stores.
They're not much cheaper in terms of shipping, but BraStop sometimes has very discounted bras; I mention it in case the discounts might balance out the shipping.

Also, Figleaves has a US site, as well as a UK one. (I'm afraid I don't know where you are, so I don't know if that's much better...)
I like www.barenecessities.com. I'm a 28?? (They've grown again somehow and are now falling out of the 28DDs I own, so time to try on new bras) so very few brands make my band size in any decent cup size, but BN seems to always have selection. The shipping is cheap in the US with easy returns.
Yes! They're the "better service than I ever found in a brick and mortar shop". Emailed them for help, got fourteen questions about fit, answered them, and four hours later got a "Oh! Okay, the bra you ordered is known for XYZ; I have this problem too. This other bras has a similar style, but a difference that means the problem's usually avoided; would you like to try it?" Exchanged in a heartbeat, mad love.
I am so glad my weight (just over 200, and I'm 5'1") was not an issue with Blue Cross when I had my reduction. I was having enough removed that I still hit whatever their numbers were.

(I went from a 40I to a 38C, although in the two years since I've found that 40Bs fit much better on me.)
I'm 38I, ~200 lbs, 5'9". My weight has been steady for years now, while my breasts just keep getting larger, but apparently I am too fat for reduction surgery, period, not negotiable. The Powers That Be are so sure that if I would just get off my fat ass and accomplish the incredibly easy task of losing weight, my breast problem would, like, totally fix itself! Obviously. (Nevermind that I was an E cup at 15 years old and 120 lbs!)

Boobs. What a mess. They make it hard to love them, sometimes.