writing rengeek magpie mind

December 2014

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the heartbreak of armpit fat.



I have just discovered the official silliest piece of fatphobia I have ever encountered in my born days.

Apparently, we are all now supposed to be terrified of exposing our unsightly armpit fat.

Based on my admittedly cursory internet research, and exemplified by the image above, I would worry about the health consequences for any woman concerned with armpit fat, because it would suggest that she is not doing her breast self-exam properly. What we see above, in the damning orange circles, is in fact part of the boob. And the problem is that Madam is not wearing a properly-fitting bra, as the one illustrated above is at least two cup sizes too small and one band size too large. The little metal bits (we call them 'underwires') are meant to lie flat against the ribcage, not sit halfway up Mount Doom like the track of a sidehill hoofer.

Why yes, I am supposed to be writing a novel. Why do you ask?

But the patriarchy is in my armpits. Some things just can't wait.

Comments

Professional bra fittings are great, until the fitter looks at you with great pity and says, "Oh honey, you're never going to find that size in a retail store. I suggest buying online: 6 to 8 in it, 6 to 8 in the next band size up/cup size down, and 6 to 8 in the next band size down/cup size up, choosing the best 4 and returning the rest."

The fact that retail shops simply do not carry band sizes under 32 is seriously a problem.
That is an awesome fitter, though, because I have had them flat lie to me.

I have a nice standard band size (36) but the cup size... oy gevalt.
The ladies at Lady Grace in Boston were wonderful years ago. I have no idea if they still are. I went with my roommate who needed large cup sizes and since I was there, they decided to measure me too (already knowing they probably wouldn't be able to fit me).
Lady Grace is where my daughter C finally got a bra fitted correctly. That was some years back - I think it was a 32HHH
Yeah- there were days when I still had some faint hope of buying bras off the rack at a major retailer. Mind you it was about a three year window in my late twenties and it seems like half of the fitters got my size wrong.

One day I went to three different department stores and talked to a grand total of five 'fitters'. I got told three different band/cup combos and said fukkit and went for drinks with a friend.

Every time a thread like this pops up somewhere I feel like I should send my bra pusher flowers.
"The fact that retail shops simply do not carry band sizes under 32 is seriously a problem."

This! I went around wearing 34B for years until the back pain got unmanageable. Got myself measured, got told I was a 32C. Hard enough to find in stores but they had a couple. Still had back pain though. Measured myself and ordered bras online- 28DD fits great, pain reduced, yay! (Not anymore, they got bigger. :( )But the fricking saleslady couldn't tell me that I was a 28 anything cuz of course they don't stock it. Buying bras is this crazy ordering and returning ordeal and I hate that they don't last forever so I have to do it more than once.