Yeah, that's mostly where I am too. And, adjacent to your point "it's a joke" it's the stupidest fucking defense on the planet. Because, see, if :nasty, mean, fucked up thing: is funny to you, then that says something about what you believe, what you have and have not thought about in the world, and whether you have empathy for whoever you are saying fucked up things about.
That being said, I am all about snark, gallows humor, and I'm actually a big fan of Seth McFarlane's shows. I haven't seen the Oscar thing, maybe the shittyness will go over my head, and I'll think it's funny (I like the idea behind playing off overlong speeches with Jaws.) but there's a way to snark, a way to address shittyness with humor. I think it's all in where you put the emphasis, I think, and a lot of people fuck it up.