I do know that, finally.
Being raised in a strictly religious household with many of the negatives that those can contain - and mine did - there was that whole "purity" concept. Yeah... I did eventaully reject that viewpoint outright. Refused to play the Madonna/whore game. And then stopped feeling like appologising for a lot of things...
Wholly belonging to myself has taken a lot more work - bit the result of the effort is worth every moment of hardship. My joy is hard won, and worth any struggle.