writing rengeek magpie mind

October 2014

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
criminal minds prentiss facepalm

just give me your hand. your mother is drunk is all.*

And while we're on the subject of sexual violence, in re: Rape Culture. I explain--

...no, take too long. I sum up.

Look, if you're one of the people saying, "What a pity these boys were convicted of rape, because they had their whole lives ahead of them," you are part of the problem.

You may think what you're saying is "What a pity these boys committed rape, because they destroyed their own futures." But those are not the words coming out of your mouth.

Stop. Look. Listen. Look left, then right, then left again. Then think about what you are about to say or type.

But if you are one of the people saying, "Well, the victim had her whole life ahead of her too," you're also not saying what you think you're saying, and you're contributing to the problem and expressing an internalization of rape culture as well.

The victim--shall we call her a survivor, now?--still does have her whole life ahead of her.

Surviving sexual assault is not the end of a life. Rape culture includes this pervasive idea that the person who is raped is ruined forever, that "she'll never be the same," that she's soiled and broken.

Guess what? Hundreds and hundreds of rape survivors go on to lead productive, fulfilling lives! Yes, it's an act of violence. Yes, it's a trauma, and it should never happen to anyone, and surviving violence--sexual or otherwise--is not easy or clean.

But we need to get this fucking idea of a "fate worse than death" out of the language and the culture pronto, because it compounds the fucking damage when you tell somebody she's automatically damaged for life.

Comments screened, because I don't even.


*not the actual lyric. But close enough for my purposes today.

Comments

YES. THIS. THANK YOU. This should be printed and superglued to several (many) people's foreheads until they GET IT. I have been reading so many posts and comments about this case in the past two days and just UGH.

I'm also struggling a bit on how to express sympathy with the victim and express the fact that the trauma she experienced influenced the girl's life in more significant manner than the verdict and sentence will "ruin" the rapists' lives. Because some people are also missing this, although i feel it's so goddamn obvious.

Do you mind if I share this elsewhere? (read: everywhere)
I forget where it's posted--if you search you'll find it--but she has asked that if people want to do something for her they could send donations to the YWCA in Wheeling, WV, which has a shelter for battered women. That's what I did.