writing rengeek magpie mind

November 2014

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problem cat

i could save you baby but it isn't worth my time

Due to travel schedules, my peripatetic step cat is in residence here for a couple of months, which means...

Cat vs. Monkey: The New Brood!

Monkey: *lies in bed*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *stands at window*
Monkey: *lies in bed*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *stands at window*
Monkey: *lies in bed*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *stands at window*

Monkey: "Cat, I'm cold."
Peripatetic Step Cat: *stands at window*

Monkey: *reads a book*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *stands at window*

Peripatetic Step Cat: Those birds will come back eventually!
Monkey: Birds sleep at night, cat. Unlike cats.

Monkey: *sleeps*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *stands at window*

Monkey: *sleeps*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *bangs on window*

Monkey: *does not sleeps*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *bangs on window*

Monkey: *lies in bed trying to play Angry Birds on phone*
2013-03-16 08.31.16
Peripatetic Step Cat:
*LOVES YOU VERY MUCH OH MY GOD WHY WERE WE KEPT APART HERE HAVE SOME OF MY DROOL AND HEADBUTTS AND THINGS AND THAT IS MY PHONE AND YOU ARE MY MONKEY ALL MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE*


Monkey: *has to pee*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *curls up on Monkey's chest and purrrrrrsssss*

Monkey: *makes a break for the bathroom*
Peripatetic Step Cat: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO PEE! I MUST HELP YOU PEE!

Monkey: *attempts to change sheets*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *SHEET ATTACK*

Monkey: *attempts to change sheets*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *ANKLE ATTACK*

Monkey: *attempts to change sheets*
Peripatetic Step Cat: *HAND ATTACK*

Monkey: Well, that's the bed made. Guess I'll head out...
Peripatetic Step Cat: Whatevs. *stands in window*

The Alleged Perpetrator:
2013-03-21 07.43.00

Previous installments of Cat vs. Monkey may be found under this tag: Presumptuous Cat

Comments

Some of my friends with kids talk about how they don't get to pee alone any more, and I'm like, "Any more? You ever got to pee alone? OH THE LUXURY."

(I might drown, you see. That small room is full of water, and while I am grudgingly permitted to shower alone, if I take too long at it, the littledog sticks her paws under the door and cries. "HELLO MONKEY ARE YOU DEAD? DID THE WATER BOX GET YOU? HELLO?")
O MY GoD YOu'RE goInG INTo thE BaThRoOm BEST DAY EvAr!