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bear by san

March 2017



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criminal minds pentiss and reid back

with one fist raised in anger. with one foot in the fire.

So let's talk about Charles Ramsey and Amanda Berry (and Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight).

Let's talk about the fact that Amanda Berry is a hero, and that she rescued herself, her daughter, and two other women from a horrible situation.

Let the record show that she did what she had to do, and if she hadn't, those four women would still be in that house.

Because the media seem to want to cast her and the other women only as victims, and that narrative is a lie.

Let's talk about the fact that Charles Ramsey is a hero, too. Because he saw a person obviously in distress, and he acted. And the fact that that person was white and female, and that he was black and male, living on a job as a dishwasher, and that his police record would be brought up afterward, definitely entered his consciousness; and he did it anyway. Because he saw a person who needed help.

That does not decrease his heroism. It increases it.

Let the record show that he did what he had to do, and if he hadn't, those four women would still be in that house.

And Ariel Castro might be getting away with it for another fifteen years.

And now I'm speaking here as an abuse survivor.

That Mr. Ramsey allegedly has a record for domestic violence is not beside the point; it is the point. It's people who abuse other people, and it's people who help other people. And people can learn better, or make a mistake one time and do something to repair it another.

Ramsey doesn't have to be perfect to be a hero. Berry didn't have to be perfect to be a hero. Michelle Knight was a hero when she delivered Ms. Berry's baby daughter, with no experience and no support, and she doesn't have to be perfect for that to stand, either. Gina DeJesus has no doubt done some pretty heroic stuff in the last ten years or so as well.

Our absolutist cultural narratives do nobody a service. People do not have to be perfect and blameless to be worthy of respect and admiration; they only have to be trying.

And one of the effects of that absolutism is to tell survivors who are not perfect and blameless (and who is, and who who has been abused can see themselves as perfect?) then they are somehow villains too, or responsible, or that they bear guilt for what they've suffered.

Another effect is that people who are capable of making a change may not, because they are scared of how they will be perceived if they aren't perfect.


(As for Mr. Ramsey's drug charges: if you don't understand the interplay of race, class, and drug-law harassment, I suggest you do some reading, and understand that middle class suburban white people can get away with a lot more than some black guy from Cleveland.)


This is why I haven't been able to watch the coverage. Entirely this victim narrative. No recognition of the incredible act of agency Ms. Berry took to effect their escape. No recognition of Mr. Ramsey's willingness to be vulnerable and help.

Nobody's perfect. I'm just grateful beyond words that she succeeded. That he helped. Who cares about anything else? Nothing else matters.

Thank you (again) for this. You're on fire this week. :)
"Be vulnerable and help."

That's it exactly.
I have followed this mostly through the local public radio (I live in Cleveland) and very slightly through articles in some of my favorite news sources (including yesterday evening the economist.)

And I must be getting a really different narrative than a lot of people, because I have not directly heard word one of anyone running Ramsey down (except in other people comment about people running him down) and there's been an awful lot about Berry and Knight's heroism. Mind you, the local news people that I've heard so far have been doing a stellar job on verifying things before reporting them and trying to avoid all the rumor mongering, and the really deserve kudos.

I know that picking my news sources the way I do puts me in a bit of a sheltered enclave, but damn, I hadn't realized how well it was working.
You have just nailed down why my preferred news sources are The Daily Show and NPR. :-P