"my disbelief required not merely suspension, but cantilevering." I love it! I would love to steal it and use it! May I?
I loved it even though it was a seriously flawed movie, for some of the reasons you point out with the comment about emotionality. The Kirk & Uhura in the turbolift scene, and the Kirk, Spock and Uhura in the shuttle bit were terrific - they made perfect sense for the characters. Quinto and Urban are outstanding in the middle of a whole lot of other wonderful actors. And a certain cameo made me happy enough to make up for a whole lot of flaws.
But I really wish they had used one of any number of possible hand-wavy solutions to explain why a character who should be brown was pasty white. Yeah, Cumberbatch being deep in the uncanny valley makes a certain amount of sense, but they still should have made some sort of token explanation.