writing rengeek magpie mind

August 2014

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criminal minds fate

This is just to say:

To everybody who has opined recently that sexual harassment policies at conventions mean an end to flirtation, dating, and romance at cons--

I'm involved in a relationship with somebody I met, befriended, and grew to love largely at conventions. He never once felt the need to grope me, make an inappropriate comment on my body or dress, or ask if anything I was wearing was meant as a coded sexual message before the moment when we figured out that we were each interested in one another in a romantic sense.

Neither flirting nor building emotional connection is harassment, folks--and harassment is not flirting.

It's not actually all that complicated.

Comments

I've heard people worry that if they were really boring and someone felt trapped, they could get "in trouble".
Well, if I feel trapped because someone has backed me against a wall then, yes, they might get in trouble.
I personally can tell the difference between boring and aggressive. :-P I also suspect if people WORRY about being boring, they're unlikely to BE boring.

It's the ones who are sure the world revolves around them....
"Not being boring" is a difficult thing to remedy.

However, "not making people feel trapped" is a bit easier to learn how to do. The big thing is to, y'know, not trap people.