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bear by san

September 2015



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if hungry is what's eating you, i'll sell you peace of mind.

So I live in a very tiny town. (It is in Massachusetts, and does not even have a Dunkin Donuts. I rest my case.) scott_lynch  and I just walked over to the tiny but TARDIS-like co-op to get some lunch, and while we were paying for a sammich and some spicy tomato wild rice soup, [Redacted,] one of the women who works there, asked me if my housemate [Redacted] happened to be at home.

My housemate [Redacted] happens to be on the town advisory board.

Anyway, [Redacted] at the co-op wanted me to ask my housemate [Redacted] if my housemate [Redacted] was in charge of the candy list (The town subsidizes Halloween candy for people who live on the Common, because we get literally thousands of trick or treaters), because [Redacted] and [Redacted] at the green house across the Common would like to be put on it this year.
I told her I didn't think so, and that I thought it was [Redacted], but my mom now tells me that [Redacted] resigned due to having had enough of shenanigans.
They ([Redacted] and [Redacted] at the green house) are in North Carolina right now, so they asked [Redacted] at the co-op to check. [Redacted] at the co-op asks my housemate [Redacted] call her at the co-op and let her know how best to proceed.

So I sent an email to my housemate [Redacted].

Typical village game of telephone. *g*


Ain't that the way of it?
Wait a minnit! Your town doesn't have a Dunkin Donuts? How on earth do people function?!?

<- Lives in MA and has to crawl through the gridlock to get into my local Dunkies on a daily basis....
Man, I miss living in my old neighborhood. Walks were always like that. Social fabric, extra thick.
Are you in a Connie Willis novel? Better double check.
Seems likely, doesn't it?
I think you must be!
No Dunkin?! Are you sure you're in MA?

Though there's hope - my tiny MA town didn't have one until about 6 years ago when one got stuck into the Tedeschi's! Though right now the bridge it's near is under construction making the parking lot a mess so I have to go to the Dunkin in Concord, where my muffin/iced combo is 24 cents more! ;)
We don't even have a grocery store to stick one in. Just the co-op.
Hooray for gratuitous Bill Morrissey!
<3 for Bill Morrissey.
<3 for Phil Ochs, too.
that just makes my brain hurt.. grin.

and there had better be candy after all of that!
Yes, there are in fact a few towns in MA without Dunkin' Donuts stores. Not many, but a few.

When the town I grew up in got its first bank branch, it was a major deal. (Still no Dunkin' Donuts, though.)
Still no bank branch. We have two ATMs. One at the Cumbies, one in a glass box.

Have got a shooting range, though. And an appliance store.
The vital question, of course, is how many summertime ice cream stands?

(Well, perhaps not as vital this time of year. But still.)
Summertime? In New England we eat ice cream year round! (Or at least I do, anyway.) I've walked through a blizzard just to get free ice cream! (True story.)
Hell, we have an all-year clam shack. It's got indoor seating. That's also the ice cream place. *g*
Ooh. Having just learned how to eat steamers, that sounds really good right now.
Our stand closes in October :( But it's been around for 76 years so I guess it knows what it's doing?

Still, woe for me :(
I'm still boggling at the "no Dunkin' Donuts" thing. I mean, I can get my mind around "no municipal utilities" -- no town water, sewage, or power. I can understand "no paved roads" -- that's easy. But I thought that the minimum requirements for a settlement were a public building for town meetings, a post office of some sort, and a Dunk's. I mean, they could all be the same building, but still.
Heh. Down here in the wilds of Texas, Dunkin' Donuts is a relatively rare find. We just got one within reasonable driving distance of us (which is to say, in a direction that we actually go on a regular basis) and are having to be careful not to break the budget on chocolate Munchkins. But we've also done Anime Boston a few times, and I remember being quite becroggled at the frequency of DD up there. We stay out in the boonies and commute to the con by train, and the DD we pass on the way to the station has to has a cop directing traffic. On Sunday.
Sunday is the busy day. Dozen doughnuts for breakfast.

Full disclaimer: in college I worked the night shift at a now defunct Dunkin competitor. I may have lingering doughnut trauma.

And donuts...

for the church's coffee meeting after service.

It's not Sunday if there aren't donut holes in the meeting hall!
Is that even permitted? For a town in Massachusetts to NOT have at least one Dunkin Donuts in the town limits?

As a immigrant from the South, I thought that there was a state law to the effect that there has to be a Dunkin Donuts within walking distance of every town centre.
Commenting from a part of swinging London where we have everything (and much of it is legal and some of it can be cured...)I'm just wondering - what is a Dunking Donuts and what do you dunk them in?
Dunkin Donuts is a chain of shops which sell doughnuts (I am sure Wikipedia can be enlightening about doughnuts if need be) and coffee. The "dunkin'" part refers to the habit of submerging doughnuts in the coffee to soak some up. This works better with some varieties of doughnuts than others (jelly doughnuts are not generally considered dunkable, for example) and is not a mandatory step in the consumption of either the coffee or the doughnuts.

Canadians refer to such establishments as "Tim Horton's". I have no idea whether Canadian doughnuts are dunkable or not. They are, however, infiltrating the US, and ads may be seen on the sidelines at every NHL hockey game. We live in fear; first their doughnuts, then their single-payer healthcare system. </p>

In the southern US, Dunkin Donuts are impersonated by a chain called Krispy Kreme. People have strong opinions about this, one way or another.


The Cult of Dunkin

Also, the Cult of Dunkin is founded on several legs besides maple frosted doughnuts and/or Munchkins.

1) Free wireless
2) Clean bathrooms
3) Reliably cromulent egg sandwiches that aren't too unhealthy: i.e., emergency nutrition/fast food that doesn't have to hurt.
4) In many places, open all night.

Also, they have a corporate sense of humor:

Re: The Cult of Dunkin

Never underestimate the power of "Open all night" when you are the only place in town that is. Or the only place for several towns.

Re: The Cult of Dunkin

I remember when the Dunkin Donuts in St. Johnsbury VT ceased to be open 24 hours/day. We discovered this at 2 AM on the final leg of a drive that had started many hours earlier in Timonium, Maryland.

We were not happy.


The one in Haverhill MA still is. And the only bathroom in town at that hour.

Edited at 2013-10-28 01:28 am (UTC)


We eventually located a Cumberland Farms gas station/quick mart on the other side of town that was still open all night. Their coffee is lousy, but it contains caffeine.
Krispy Kreme donuts make me violently ill, Dunkin are oversweet. But I'm a Wawa girl. :)

Edited at 2013-11-06 10:43 pm (UTC)
The best thing about Dunkin Donuts, however, is not the donuts, which are mediocre, but the coffee. Particularly the iced coffee. I am off to get one shortly!
I'm reminded of the time when I was in a convenience store in Wyoming when the phone rang, and the cashier answered it, and then told the teen she was ringing up, "It's your mom."

Way less byzantine, but still pretty small town.
When I was a young teenager, I once left my watch at the school swimming pool that I was at with my cousins (during the summer break). I hadn't actually noticed that it was missing for a couple of days, and didn't know where I might have left it. However, when someone calling the local manual exchange asked for our old phone number (engraved on the back of the watch, and no longer a valid number), my Aunt was the telephone operator, and recognised the number.
Watch recovered, and I didn't get it trouble with my Gran, who gave watches to her many grandchildren when they turned 12!
Maybe you should expand into a new genre - the cozy mystery.
Don't think I haven't contemplated it. THE APPLE FESTIVAL MURDERS.
Ahhhh.... The joys of living in a town that is so small it lacks amenities, but also so small and picturesque that it attracts thousands of trick-or-treaters.