I know: five years after I was forced out as "Rant" columnist over at the Channel magazine, I see less of a reason to get cable over the current schedule than I did back when I had the cable disconnected at the end of 2001. Unfortunately, most fans keep acting like abused girlfriends: "But Bonnie Hammer promised that she wouldn't work me over with the six-foot sandstone strap-on and the habanero lube this time. She promised!"