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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

Hey, Harlan?

This is so not okay.



Well, Harlan should not be allowed out without his wife. But he has his very kind side, and has done many hidden good deeds. And even though I have had some very testy (I hear him laughing at that word -- fucking invective is more like it) verbal encounters with him over the years, over business, he has been unfailingly courteous, and even affectionate, with me in person on a social basis.

For what it's worth.
Indeed. The man has done some very good deeds.

And it's obvious that both Connie and Rachel can handle themselves.

But I think introducing yourself to a younger writer by poker her in the stomach is a bit beyond the pale.
I totally agree. See: out without his wife. Though I learn that Susan was in the audience at the Hugos, so perhaps I need to recallibrate.

I was at the Hugos (obviously) but I did not see the groping incident, as it were. OTOH, I don't think anybody would have complained if Connie had *used* that hammer.

She's a real pro, and a class act.
If he's a good man, all the worse to tacitly encourage him to do crappy things, surely?
And it's obvious that both Connie and Rachel can handle themselves.

Those are the magic words. And that's what freaks me out a little about this. Connie and Rachel can handle themselves -- what about the cute twenty- or teen-something at her first con who can't?

She's gonna carry that weight. And very likely won't know that what just happened is not okay.
Or be afraid to say anything about it -- afterall, she's seen strong women let him get away with it, so who's a young nobody to say something?

Ms. Willis and Ms. Manija are responsible for what they want to do about the incident, of course. But the F/SF community at large and all its members are responsible for what we want to do about the incident. Like stop inviting him and other steakfuckers to cons, and complaining, in writing, if other people do; and all that other good stuff.
At my Regular Place of Work we call these people "High Maintenance Customers", and it took us about half a decade to realize they were not worth keeping.

When someone fits the HMC profile, we detail the situation to them. We give them one chance, and then we ban them permanently. Do not pass Go. Do not bug our customer service base or harrass our product managers. k thx bye.

As for the LOTR Fan from Hell....she sounds mentally ill, and very likely is. She needs help, and maybe the shock of being thrown out of a con would be the jolt in the ass she needs to get her life in order, but then again -- she'll probably just find another outlet for her brand of personality disorder.
He helped raise money for the medical care of (my friend) Jo Clayton when she was slowly dying of cancer.

The groping of Connie Willis is Ellison's Damn Spot, and all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten his little hand.