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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

Hey, Harlan?

This is so not okay.



Excellent. Then we know whose side you're on

Excuse me?

I wasn't aware that we were 'chosing sides.' I thought that this was a discussion in which a balanced reporting of the alleged event would be valued.

I don't like Harlan. I never have. But when rumors and second-hand stories are racing around the Internet, I try to find out if there's another side to the story as well.

Otherwise, it's a lynching party, and I don't approve of those in any scenario.

I happen to hate the phrase "Devil's advocate." I apologize for giving offense.

It's clear to me, given where the first-hand accounts are coming from (a respected member of the SF community, a woman who was touched inappropriately by Ellison the same weekend, an account of wrangling Ellison at the Hugos, and a since-removed photograph of the grope), that the grope happened, it happened on-stage, people saw it, at least one person got a picture, and Ellison was behaving badly even by his own generous self-set standards.

Maybe you've not seen any of those accounts, which makes your wanting the other side understandable. If you have, then all I can do is boggle.
was there really an actual photo of the grope?
where was this?

I've seen people linking to a photo of Ellison playing inappropriately with a microphone and one of him kissing Willis (the host of said photos keeps playing with the filenames to mess up people who link there) but I hadn't seen anyone before say they had a photo of the act itself.
Harlan has admitted the grope.

There is no permanent link, but here it is:

- Tuesday, August 29 2006 12:19:50


Would you believe that, having left the Hugo ceremonies immediately after my part in it, while it was still in progress ... and having left the hall entirely ... yet having been around later that night for Kieth Kato's traditional chili party ... and having taken off next morning for return home ... and not having the internet facility to open "journalfen" (or whatever it is), I was unaware of any problem proceeding from my intendedly-childlike grabbing of Connie Willis's left breast, as she was exhorting me to behave.

Nonetheless, despite my only becoming aware of this brouhaha right this moment (12 noon LA time, Tuesday the 29th), three days after the digital spasm that seems to be in uproar ...YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!

iT IS UNCONSCIONABLE FOR A MAN TO GRAB A WOMAN'S BREAST WITHOUT HER EXPLICIT PERMISSION. To do otherwise is to go 'way over the line in terms of invasion of someone's personal space. It is crude behavior at best, and actionable behavior at worst. When George W> Bush massaged the back of the neck of that female foreign dignitary, we were all justly appalled. For me to grab Connie's breast is in excusable, indefensible, gauche, and properly offensive to any observers or those who heard of it later.

I agree wholeheartedly.

I've called Connie. Haven't heard back from her yet. Maybe I never will.

So. What now, folks? It's not as if I haven't been a politically incorrect creature in the past. But apparently, Lynne, my 72 years of indefensible, gauche (yet for the most part classy), horrifying, jaw-dropping, sophomoric, sometimes imbecile behavior hasn't--till now--reached your level of outrage.

I'm glad, at last, to have transcended your expectations. I stand naked and defenseless before your absolutely correct chiding.

With genuine thanks for the post, and celestial affection, I remain, puckishly,

Yr. pal, Harlan

P.S. You have my permission to repost this reply anywhere you choose, on journalfen, at SFWA, on every blog in the universe, and even as graffiti on the Great Wall of China.

Yup, I saw that and blogged it over on riba_rambles... along with the four followup comments Harlan made, ending with a quip about "Connie (or Courtney, or Cordelia)"

Puck Off, Harlan

There is no excuse. I've been making comments hither and yon about various ways one might teach him to behave himself, but behind the comicbook image of having her shove the Hugo fins-first into any or all of his apertures, there is a much deeper anger.

It's not funny, it's not cute, it's not horseplay, it's not acceptable.

Re: Puck Off, Harlan

I've heard over and over again, if someone ever sexually assaults me (be it a threat or truly violent) in any way, I would immediately respond back by punching, kicking, hitting, etc. This seems like a poorly veiled blaming the victim. Why didn't she act up? Why didn't she do something heroic in this moment?
Even with many years of martial arts and several women's self defense trainings, when I've been grabbed it's so completely shocking that I just stood there totally still. Later when I told women about it, they said, I would have punched, kicked, hit him, etc. Why didn't you? Right, because I was the one who's actions should be critiqued? Come on people, we can be bigger and better than this.
Quip? Courtney is Connie Willis' husband. Cordelia is her daughter.
Okay, that I didn't know.
To me it was sounding like yet another joke, this time that he couldn't even remember her name.