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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

Hey, Harlan?

This is so not okay.



Harlan has admitted the grope.

There is no permanent link, but here it is:

- Tuesday, August 29 2006 12:19:50


Would you believe that, having left the Hugo ceremonies immediately after my part in it, while it was still in progress ... and having left the hall entirely ... yet having been around later that night for Kieth Kato's traditional chili party ... and having taken off next morning for return home ... and not having the internet facility to open "journalfen" (or whatever it is), I was unaware of any problem proceeding from my intendedly-childlike grabbing of Connie Willis's left breast, as she was exhorting me to behave.

Nonetheless, despite my only becoming aware of this brouhaha right this moment (12 noon LA time, Tuesday the 29th), three days after the digital spasm that seems to be in uproar ...YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!

iT IS UNCONSCIONABLE FOR A MAN TO GRAB A WOMAN'S BREAST WITHOUT HER EXPLICIT PERMISSION. To do otherwise is to go 'way over the line in terms of invasion of someone's personal space. It is crude behavior at best, and actionable behavior at worst. When George W> Bush massaged the back of the neck of that female foreign dignitary, we were all justly appalled. For me to grab Connie's breast is in excusable, indefensible, gauche, and properly offensive to any observers or those who heard of it later.

I agree wholeheartedly.

I've called Connie. Haven't heard back from her yet. Maybe I never will.

So. What now, folks? It's not as if I haven't been a politically incorrect creature in the past. But apparently, Lynne, my 72 years of indefensible, gauche (yet for the most part classy), horrifying, jaw-dropping, sophomoric, sometimes imbecile behavior hasn't--till now--reached your level of outrage.

I'm glad, at last, to have transcended your expectations. I stand naked and defenseless before your absolutely correct chiding.

With genuine thanks for the post, and celestial affection, I remain, puckishly,

Yr. pal, Harlan

P.S. You have my permission to repost this reply anywhere you choose, on journalfen, at SFWA, on every blog in the universe, and even as graffiti on the Great Wall of China.

Yup, I saw that and blogged it over on riba_rambles... along with the four followup comments Harlan made, ending with a quip about "Connie (or Courtney, or Cordelia)"

Puck Off, Harlan

There is no excuse. I've been making comments hither and yon about various ways one might teach him to behave himself, but behind the comicbook image of having her shove the Hugo fins-first into any or all of his apertures, there is a much deeper anger.

It's not funny, it's not cute, it's not horseplay, it's not acceptable.

Re: Puck Off, Harlan

I've heard over and over again, if someone ever sexually assaults me (be it a threat or truly violent) in any way, I would immediately respond back by punching, kicking, hitting, etc. This seems like a poorly veiled blaming the victim. Why didn't she act up? Why didn't she do something heroic in this moment?
Even with many years of martial arts and several women's self defense trainings, when I've been grabbed it's so completely shocking that I just stood there totally still. Later when I told women about it, they said, I would have punched, kicked, hit him, etc. Why didn't you? Right, because I was the one who's actions should be critiqued? Come on people, we can be bigger and better than this.
Quip? Courtney is Connie Willis' husband. Cordelia is her daughter.
Okay, that I didn't know.
To me it was sounding like yet another joke, this time that he couldn't even remember her name.