*g* I keep writing books that put men in traditionally feminine roles...

...and boy do they make some men uncomfortable.

So, yeah. It's a hard thing to empathize with. Just as it's hard for somebody who has never been discriminated against because of skin color or social class to understand how it works.

This is why we talk about "unexamined white male privilege." Because a lot of white men don't understand that they have an advantage just by virtue of who they are, and that it *is* harder for everybody else.

(Which is not to say that women and minorities do not have advantages as well. But they're not the overwhelming social advantages that white men have.)

*sprinkles some t's over the last sentence*

*waves bye bye to the nice li'l theory*

Oh well.

I figured Matthew, and I'm drawing a blank on the other two because I haven't read them yet :)
Also, Gabe in the Jenny Casey trilogy, no?

Specifically, Matthew, Kit, and Isolfr, off the top of my head. Matthew's the only one who's gotten wide release yet, but I've got extensive enough first-reader commentary on the other two to suspect how it's going to go down.