Why I can't get a date, by Elizabeth Bear, age Nearly 37
- Sep. 18th, 2008 at 8:13 AM
don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
post that picture with NO editing.
post these instructions with your picture.
I think I'm working on my Death Glower.
...and that's why I wear a hat when I run before showering.
- Mood:
restless - Music:cars in the street
Profile
matociquala- it's a great life, if you don't weaken
- Elizabeth Bear Dot Com
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