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bear by san

December 2021



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iggy pop chairman of the bored

where do you get your ideas?

So I was walking home from the grocery store under a heavy pack, and the mist was blowing everywhere, and there was just enough rain that my glasses were opaque within three steps of cleaning them. So I just gave up and hung them from my collar, and navigated without them.

Now, for this to make sense, you have to understand that I've worn glasses since first grade. I'm at 7.5 diopters in one eue and 8.25 in the other. I am blind blind blind. I wear my glasses in the swimming pool.

It went much better than I would have expected. In part because all I was trying to do was walk and watch for cars, and in part because it was grey and blurry and misty anyway.

And anyway, as I'm trying to see through my opaque glasses, and later on navigate without them, the writerbrain taps me on the sleeve and says:

So this is what cataracts are like.


You know, they had a crude surgery in India to cure cataracts, but the long term result was total blindness

Mm. Yup. Story there.


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Oh. You're as blind as I am!

This is why I like my contact lenses, even if I give up a little close-up vision.
Boggle. You don't have prescription swimming goggles?
Do you have any idea what that would cost?
I've had nightmares where I had to drive without my glasses. You are a brave, brave person.
You know, it wasn't that bad once I got over my freakout. I could see the sidewalk fine, and the outlines of things.

But it was weird at first.

Then I started pretending it was restful. *g*
A friend of mine has recently had laser surgery and apparently it hurt like hell, even though it is not supposed to.
And I was hoping I was the blindest! I'm somewhere areound -10/-11 in both eyes and I have astigmatism, too.
I'm at 9.5/10.0 currently, and periodically I accidentally leave my glasses in the car and don't realize it until after I've taken out my contacts. It's very interesting to fumble outside, try to find the car, try to find the keys, hope nobody's on any of the porches waving at me because I won't really see them there. It's an interesting experience, and my much less developed writer-brain kind of enjoys it. In a sick way.
Joining the myopic chorus here; the last prescription I remember for my eyes was 8.5 and 10.5, and I've gotten worse since then. I'm saving up money and courage for surgery -- I used to have an eye phobia, and while I'm doing quite well at getting over it, turns out my ophthamologist has good reasons for preferring to do it sans Valium. So not only will I have to be awake (which I'm nearly okay with now), I'll have to go through it not blissed out on tranquilizers.
hah, -8.25 is my GOOD eye.
my story is that without glasses, I can't see the ground to fall on it.
I do navigate well in the dark,
have you been given the warning that presbyopia happens to near-sighted people as well? as in, you'll wake up one morning and nothing will focus?
if you wear contacts, this results in buying reading glasses to wear over them, but I finally had to give up the contacts.
I am not nearly as blind as other commenters. My family does have some weird eye stuff going on-- my sister is both near- and farsighted, my dad has the best eyes of any of us (after something like six rounds of surgery spread over fifteen years)-- but except for right before Dad's last retina detachment, none of it made too much difference.
I always thought that something about water made it easier to see. It's been a while since I wore goggles underwater, but I remember them being as good as glasses while I swam. Maybe my eyes were just right for then.
In Byerly's last week, they had boxes that said, "CLEMENTINES FROM SPAIN." But the end of the box was partly blocked, so my brain filled in, "CLEMENTINES FROM SPACE!"

I like my way better.
me too.
Nothing at all to do with eyes, only the writerbrain tapping bit just now reminded me that I had a gonzo story idea while in the middle of watching a hockey game the other night, so now I'm kicking myself for not setting down that pretzel, pulling out my notebook, and jotting it down. I don't think it had anything to do with the zamboni, or the refs, or even the fights at the end. Damn. Hate it when I do that. ::kicks stupid memory::

I love those moments when I'm walking along and just observing, and something hits me about the particular quality of the light just then, or what the slope of the nearby hill reminds me of, or how it's suddenly quiet in the middle of the day. When something is unusual about the day it's even better, I absorb as much of it as I can and it always sparks something interesting. Not story ideas as such usually, but an atmosphere, a feeling, a little chuck of something that I can use in many other places.

does this count as artist's suffering?

Sometimes I miss the squint factor of living without corrected vision. The world was so full of mystery and possibility. Well, and unseen corners and potholes, but, y'know. Trade-off.
You know, they had a crude surgery in India to cure cataracts, but the long term result was total blindness

Now there's got to be a story in that. Imagine having to decide if X amount of time as your last chance to see something clearly knowing you'd pay for it with total sight loss (though I bet cataracts can get that bad)... Where'd you find out about this? Cool stuff.
I make you a free gift of my migraines. Go, weave magic.
No thanks. My mom had them.
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