it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken
matociquala

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autodidacticism for fun and profit

So, not too long ago, I outed myself here as learning-disabled (I was diagnosed with discalculia when I was 21, after many many awful years trying to brute force my way through math with varying levels of success.) Since one of my projects for adulthood is patching the holes in a formal education that could best be described as spotty (like most of my family, I'm pretty much self-educated: though I did spend four years in college, it didn't go well, for a variety of reasons such as lack of support, lack of emotional maturity, and Unresolved Personal Issues), I just bought an algebra workbook and self-teaching guide. 

The guitar study is also part of this process. Once upon a time, I was something of a promising young polymath. And then there were ten fifteen twenty Bad Years, and I feel like--other than the last five years of writing--I've overall wasted myself. Oddly enough, apparently a side effect of more or less finally having my shit together is the urge to do more with my life than I have been. (I've also been thinking of seeing what it would take to renew my long long lapsed CT domestic violence crisis counselor cert, and seeing if Interval House would take me back as a volunteer a couple of days a month, but I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready for that yet.)

(Not that writing science ficion and fantasy is easy, mind you. But it is focused.) And I am bloody well going to get them back. What's the point in being allegedly multi-gifted if all you do with it is sit on your ass and eat bonbons?

This sudden urge to OMG LEARN THINGS again also tells me something I suspected, which is that I'm reaching a point with my writing where it's no longer productive to bend my entire will upon it, but rather that I need to practice my art mindfully and follow where it takes me. Which means, well, I need something else to sic the brain squirrels on.

Besides, if I keep doing the same stuff over and over again, I am going to keep writing the same stuff over and over again, and that is so not on.

So. I will be attempting to teach myself algebra, and if that works we'll see how we do with geometry, trig, and--I shudder even to name it--calc.*** And when I mentioned it to leahbobet, she double-dog dared me to blog about it.*

Ahem.

We'll see how this goes. The eventual goal is to get far enough into calc to make more sense of astrophysics and geology than I currently can, but don't expect those results next month.****

Eventually, I'm also going to have to sign up for those language classes I keep talking about.**


*the "bearmalion" tag is her fault.
**A conversational French refresher, dammit, and I do want to learn Russian. I've become monolingual through disuse, and it annoys me.
***because if you aren't growing, you're being cut back.
****this also may mean less fucking around on the internets, which can only be good for me in the long run.
Tags: at home with autodidacticism, bearmalion, brain squirrels, entropy requires no maintenance
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