it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken

  • Mood:

well, insomnia is good for something

I got my essay for April done. A week early, even.

Shockingly enough, it's on post-novel ennui.

Which of course is what's wrong with me.

The problem with the post-novel ennui is that one is both restless and stupid. So you're bored as anything, and you can't concentrate on anything that might fix the bored. You have no ambition, so you make lists of projects and then ignore them, except for the stuff that absolutely has got to get done.

You can't even spent too much time sleeping, because, as the timestamp on this post indicates, half the time you can't sleep.

My God, I even bore myself.

Man, I hate this part of the process. It's the lack of attention span as much as anything: you would think, while I was not doing anything in particular, I would be getting a lot of not-writing stuff done. But my entire productiveness for Friday was, well, 450 words of fanfiction. Despite good intentions on various levels.

Yes, I really do suck that much. That's all I got. I'm almost completely useless. And this despite even being rather enamored of the fanfic thing, mostly because I have the best epigraph ever.

Really, a good epigraph makes up for a lot.

I dunno if I'll ever actually post this thing I'm writing, though, because it's long enough, faithful enough, and has enough plot to sort of wander out of the land of fair use/commentary/parody/deconstruction. A couple of hundred or thousand words of character analysis is one thing, but an actual novelette is different in my head. Assuming it ever gets finished.

And I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that in the absence of a stated fanfic policy from the powers that be.

I shall have to think on it.

Tomorrow, though, I am at least going to try to read something and practice guitar and do some math and go to the gym. Because man, I even disgust myself.
Tags: post-novel ennui
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