oh god i fell for you

Monkey: Cat?
Monkey: Cat? Can you hear me?
Monkey: *opens closets*
Monkey: *looks in cabinets*
Monkey: Cat? Where are you?
Monkey: *checks that all screens are still in windows*
Monkey: Cat, I'm worried. I can't find you.
Monkey: *notices linen closet door is open four inches*
Monkey: *slides it the rest of the way open*
Cat: kkkkkkk!
Monkey: There you are!
Cat: God, are you done with the guitar yet?
Monkey: ...yes.
Cat: I don't know why you play that thing when it makes you howl in pain.
Monkey: You're on the clean towels.
Cat: They were the only thing I could find that would block the sound of screaming.
Monkey: Singing.
Cat: Whatever. In a minute or two, I was going to come find out if you were dead.


In case you were wondering, this is why,despite her smart mouth, I haven't killed and eaten her yet:



I guess she dozed off while reading?

Sadly, despite the cover art, the Cook's Illustrated does not contain an article on how to braise star spawn tentacles.