It was closed.
I had just walked five miles in the heat (the sun was only out for the period of time when I was walking: it's gone away again) and thus, I sulked. And did not cross the street to the mediocre pho place, where I could have gotten surreal pho.
Because I was sulking.
I walked home instead.**
And so, in a fit of self-loathing, I bought myself a pomegranate slurpee.*
*I think this should become a catch phrase.
**And now I have to do laundry. The universe hates me.
***Write your own shaggy dog story to go with this punchline. What? I did the hard part!