I can play "Wild Thing."
Oh, you know, not the melody or anything.
...does it have a melody?
(Also, I learned a new chord today. And the strum pattern synapses seem to be finally firming up, as I can now do as many as five strum patterns in endless repetition, without so much as an interesting variation. And I'm up to two whole finger-picking patterns, which I can sometimes keep up reliably for as long as a couple of bars. Barre chords, still not so much.
Aren't you glad you don't live on my block?)