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bear by san

March 2017

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rengeek kit & tilda lucifer/gabriel

hey tony, what's so good about dying? he said I think I might do a little dying today.

Sigh. This damned story is determined to be a novelette at least. And the pacing is stately like a stately thing.

I think the novelette is attempting to be lingering and elegaic in feel. Or, as we say in the trade, "dull as ditchwater."

That's probably unfair. I am really bored with it, but that happens a lot, and some of the stories that most thoroughly bored me to tears when I was writing them have done amazing well out in the world. "And the Deep Blue Sea," for example, which I wrote wincing at every word. And Undertow, which bored me to gnawing my own wrists when I was writing it.

I dunno, maybe I'm just jaded.

Still, another 1100 words and change tonight, despite being out all day.

Tomorrow is slated a writing day, and thank dog, I am out of social commitments for a while. Because seriously, I am reaching the point of never wanting to see a human being again.

Possibly not even the cat.

This is a sign that it's time for some hardcore introversion, I think.

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I am out of social commitments for a while. Because seriously, I am reaching the point of never wanting to see a human being again.
Possibly not even the cat.


I've been grabbing most every chance I get to ignore humans utterly, these last weeks (I've just been out). but I'm glad of my dogs. they bring me out of myself without any threats.
I get those hardcore introversion thingies from time to time as well. Often times it includes teh intarweb. Shut it all down, stay inside, meander outside---whatever... until the batteries recharge and I can face the RealWorld (tm) once again.
I was destined for a reclusive lifestyle methinks.
I wish I could do this--just go be antisocial. However, I fiddled away my entire summer break taking care of trivia that needed my attention (when you're a teacher it's amazing what gets put off to the summer) and now here I am back at school and back on the limited writing schedule.

Sigh.

OTOH, having multiple male young adults underfoot doesn't help matters either. Or a husband who finally comprehends that "summer is the only time I have to take off from work, honey, I don't *get* to put in for vacation when I want it and it's convienent!"
If it's work, it sucks, and you get paid for it. If it is fun, you pay them...Simple, really. Most people would consider repairing cars work, and making musical instruments fun, but i seem to have deftly reversed that.
How clever of me.
Boring as a boring thing. All craftsmanship and no spark.

No fun at all to write.

Of course, I'm the writer; I'm supposed to feel that way.
Undertow bored you? Wow. Yeah, you're pretty jaded, all right.

About half the time, I find the life of an anchoress very appealing, if it weren't for that whole "be in church at all times" thing. There are days when I don't even talk to the cat. I'm a recovering shy person, so I sort of use it all up on my students...
Most boring book ever. Also, boring.

Writing it was like a forced march. (You *will* write 1500 words before bed. You *will.*)

Still, other folks seem to like it okay. But it never really surprised or delighted me, and I never really engaged with any of the characters. They're not people I enjoyed hanging around with, and I never had any of those cackling "Wait 'till they read this bit!" moments that I usually live for.

I understand other people seem to like it, though.
Hey, did somebody tell you this job was supposed to be easy?

Because if they did, they lied.
Oh, no, that's self-inflicted wangst. That shit doesn't count.

I meant the work part.

They say misery loves company

"Most boring book ever. Also, boring.

Writing it was like a forced march. (You *will* write 1500 words before bed. You *will.*)"

I feel so much better now. Really. You have no idea - well, obviously, you do. That's why I feel so much better.

Re: They say misery loves company

Hee.

Writing has a lot of grim determination in it.
You, too, eh? I've hit that point in my Current Book (boring, boring, incomprehensible, dumb). Also in my current life (too much society--even though all of it has been pleasant--with no end in sight). It's good to know I'm not alone.


It is so.

We can sit quietly and grump at one another as we type, if it helps.