it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken

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don't want to do this but he gets you there. you got to reason with the beast.

It's official. I live here on sufferance from the plants.

Current census, from left to right:

In the living room window:

1) jade plant, which is actually four or five jade plants in a pot they might eventually grow into.
2) pipe organ plant, rapidly outgrowing anything I put it into
3) small pot full of the pipe organ plant's current crop of offspring clones
4) (in a shared container) two cacti: Sulcorebutia mentosa and Lobivia arachnacantha. Memo to me, stop watering these in November so I might get some blossoms out of them in the spring.
5) (in a shared container) two Euphorbia milii "Crown of Thorns" (splendens (red) and "Aurea" (gold) For some reason, I cannot get the yellow one to bloom, although it is the bigger and seemingly more robust of the two plants. Maybe I need to let them get a little more potbound.)
6) (in one container) two supermarket cactuses. I have no idea what they are, but I bought them because they looked very, very sad. One is a two-lobed pear-shaped kind of thing with short dense thick white prickers; the other is a ridged round morningstar-head-shaped creature with clusters of long red prickers. They brought some volunteers, too: something stalky and green with oblong leaves, and something that has reddish stems and feathery small green leaves arranged in pairs along the stalk. It all looks pretty together, so I leave it alone.
7) Plectranthus amboinicus, aka "Cuban oregano," which is not an oregano at all, but a tender plant with softly-furred, succulent leaves. From a small cutting netcurmudgeon's mother gave me, it is growing into a monster. Allegedly has culinary uses: I may try it as such in self-defense.
8) Viola hederacea "Tasmanian Violet", which, between being the cat's occasional snack and a near-death-by-drowning experience, I am expecting to have to bury any day now, but it seems to be hanging on. There are three leaves on it, anyway, and I'm willing to give it a fighting chance.
9) Trachelospermum asiaticum ‘Mandanianum’. This is not a yellow jasmine, but it plays one on TV. At the very least, it has a sweet jasmine-like fragrance and a creepery habit. It keeps trying to break free and I keep twining it back into itself. Stalemate, so far. I'm hoping it will eventually rally into the giant gorgeous plant I know it can be, if I can just keep it alive long enugh. It blooms lackadasically once in a while, but it does keep growing.
10) Jasminum polyanthum "Winter Jasmine". This really is a jasmine, and while small, has consistenly if intermittently given me flowers all summer. It's actually growing pretty well, but there's something it's not entirely happy about. The leaf color is pale, and some of the leaves have yellow spots. I wonder if it wants iron?

On the kitchen divider shelf:

11) Jasminum sambac ‘Belle of India’: This is actually on the shelf between the kitchen and living room, and growing like a weed. I need to find a place where it can get some more light, because I bet it would bloom like anything if it wasn't sitting in the dark.

Atop the hutch between the kitchen and living room windows:

12) a variegated Philodendron. This was a rescue plant. Somebody had abandoned it in a basement window of my apartment building, and after watching the poor thing sit there slowly dying for a year, subsisting on moisture from the dryer vent and whatever light snuck through a cruddy north-facing basement window, I absconded with it. It is now sitting atop the hutch between the living room and kitchen windows, eating the living room and contemplating its chances for world domination. I fear it.
13) A spider plant! Gift from an individual on my flist who shall remain unnamed unless they choose to comment!
14) Kalanchoe uniflora "Coral Bells". Not in bloom because it is recovering from the same near-drowning incident that got the violet. I really need to get it a hanging basket. It will be happier.
15) Mimosa pudica “Sensitive Plant”. This is sensitive plant #2; #1 dried out on me overnight. I am trying a slightly different technique with this one, and growing it out of direct sunlight, but fairly close to a bright window, with a catch basin around the pot to hold some humidity.

In the kitchen window:

16) Ficus deltoidea "Mistletoe Fig". A mere cutting when I brought it home, now a foot tall and growing like mad. If it tops three feet, I'm declaring it my Christmas tree. I love this little tree; it's just beautiful. One of the nicest Ficii I've ever seen. The fruit turn bright deep red if left alone long enough. I suspect they are not edible, but they are pretty.
17) Hypoestes phyllostachya, "Pink Spot." Actually, this one is fuchsia. Yeah, I know, it's an office desk plant, but I really like it.
18) Citrus hystrix "Kaffir Lime". Another year, and this one will be big enough for culinary uses. It's currently pinned up to a chopstick because whoever rooted the cutting made the poor thing all cockeyed, but if the trunk hardens off even semi-upright it might make a pretty nice little tree. And the leaves are shiny and smell good.
18) Citrus x meyeri, "Meyer lemon". Maybe someday, if I get it into a giant pot, it will give me lemons. For now it sits on the kitchen window and looks pretty.
19) Citrus medica var. sarcodactylus, "Buddha's hand." See above, "Meyer lemon."
20.) Adenium obesum, "Desert Rose" (red). God, what an ugly plant. It's kind of like a bonsai baobab, only not as pretty. I adore it.

On the kitchen table under the window:

21) Citrus x latifolia, "Persian Lime". This one is actually something like a respectable-sized treelet, two feet tall or so.
22) Rosmarinus officinalis, "garden rosemary." Yum. Pork chops!
23) (in a shared container) Thymus vulgaris, "French thyme," Thymus citriodorus, "lemon thyme." Neither one is doing particularly well, but I just repotted them, and hopefully they will come back in the spring. Also in the pot as a volunteer is a yellow wood sorrel, Oxalis stricta, which I leave alone because it's tasty and pretty. Someday it may be tea.

In the humidity tray, also on the kitchen table:

24, 25) two Phalaenopsis orchids, both harlequins, one yellow and burgundy, the other (allegedly) white and burgundy, though it is new and I have never seen it bloom.
26, 27, 28) Sarracenia hybrids, "Judith Hindle," "Scarlet Belle," and something else. Oh, Sarracenia leucophylla. Pitcher plants, in other words.

Hanging over the kitchen window

29) Senecio rowleyanus, "String of Pearls." My favorite houseplant. This one is a sad shadow of its former glory, as it too nearly got itself drowned. But I am hoping I can bring it back, because the damned things are lovely and peculiar and have weird little flowers and are nearly impossible to find. Not dead yet!

Dear Bear, you don't need any more plants. Ever. Even if you do want a Tahitian bridal veil. And a potted melissa. And a stripy Phalaenopsis. Although I am contemplating ordering a Salvia divinorum while it's still legal to grow them, just to have it, but man, they want a mint* for those things and it would probably eat the orchids.**

*that was a pun.
**can't sleep, plants will eat me.

Tags: horticulture (no really: horticulture)

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