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bear by san

March 2017

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lion in winter oops

Slack....

Dear Bear:

When you're waiting for your divorce to be final; have just had a car-breakdown scare; are trying to figure out how to help your mom buy a house; are wondering if you might be moving in February; and waiting for not one, not two, but three novel-length edit letters to arrive (all of which books have to be back by November 1--oh, and did we mention that Viable Paradise is in the middle of that? and that there will be at least one set of page proofs between now and then, because apparently Dust is coming out on Boxing Day?); you might forgive yourself for feeling a little overwhelmed. (Not to mention all the shit that's not actually your shit, but which you are borrowing stress on anyway.)

Just saying.

Not that this excuses you from writing the two novellas and three five short stories you need to write by the end of the year. Also just saying. But it's okay, you still have four months. 2007 is not actually over already. It just seems like it is. And that's less that two pieces of short fiction a month. You can do that. Even with all the other stuff.

Even if you do have to start writing Chill in January and you're still not sure what it's about.

Still, you know. Breathe. And to work through the last chapter or two of that algebra book. Make lists and cross things off them. Go read a book. Keep trying to like the Pixies, other than Cactus and Bone Machine. Thinking also counts as work around here.

Screaming may help, occasionally, too. Or talking to the plants. Talking to the cat just gives her ideas.

Also, you might as well mail your rent check. It will not mail itself.

And randomly ego-googling yourself because you are stressed out and want reassurance that you don't suck is as likely to produce people who think you're a wanker as people who really, really like your books, so the net benefit is probably negligible. Although the fact that you seem to be wasting nonproductively massive amounts of time that you could be wasting productively (say, watching Farscape or something***) should serve as an indicator that you might be a little stressed out.

Nobody except you (and maybe Bill Schafer) expects you to be invincible, invulnerable, impervious, bulletproof, ten feet tall, and inexhaustible.*

Also, you really need two three more bookshelves. Just saying. 



Of course, it occurred to me this morning that all my financial worries would be over if I'd just write some books with heterosexual people in them...



State of the email download: 30 August 2006. One more year to go! Yes, I did leave it running all night. Eudora is the little email program that could.



*N.B.:This is not a request for pats on the head. It's actually more part of my ongoing quest to remind myself that I don't have to be Superwoman, and that attempting to be Superwoman is actually a good way to turn yourself into a fruitbat.**

**So now of course I'm sitting here stressing about posting this, because it presents the appearance of vulnerability, and we all know vulnerability is bad, right? See above, Superwoman.

***Yes, I do consider that productive. Or more productive than endlessly hitting refresh on livejournal, much as I love you all.

Comments

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I have this problem where I *suck* at waiting for things.

"Pending" makes me batshit. I want it *over.*
Just reading about the amount of stuff you have planned made me want to hyperventilate.
Just keep taking those stress vitamins and everything will be fine.
Is it a 'woman' thing, wanting this constant reassurance that we're 'good enough'? When the dh says, 'Hey, you look good!' I immediately run to the mirror, look at the grey scraggly hair, the zit on one cheek and think, what/who is he looking at? Then he gets miffed because I don't turn around and say, 'Yes, I do' and then mumbles about why should he bother giving me compliments if I never respond. But then I think to myself, if I respond, that's me being vain and agreeing on how gorgeous I look.

Is that insane, or what?

Same as when folks say about my writing. 'This is good' I immediately think of twelve reasons why it isn't good and should be put in the garbage disposal.

Aren't we odd folk?
Just to say, it's not a woman thing. I'm right there, too. ;)
Instead of a pat on the head, have some random strangeness--

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IyzEwojYen0

Also, some bouncing baby bunnies.
Here's to breathing. And to an expansive yet rigorous definition of productivity, with plenty of room for pleasure, human failings and mystery.
As long as you're looking up things to kill time because you have too much to do while you're waiting, try "bear monette"; muneraven was checking amazon a few days ago to see if y'all's book was out yet and found something cute.
Wah.

*clings*

The brainstorming *is* fun, though, I should say. I'm really enjoying that.

Which tells me that the storymaker isn't dead, just, you know, not interested in any of the stuff it should be writing.
Farscape is always good for reducing stress! (darn, thought I had a John Crichton icon, but it's John Sheppard. :D )

Oh well, have a Aragorn instead.
Here. At least have a *little* John.
Superman, Wonder Woman, obsolete since 1966... Marvel Angst is in... Suffer all you want, it won't ruin yer image.. You need a dog to kick, i could email you a few..
Hee. No, I'm afraid I can't have any dogs right now....
Well - just for some more ego boo - I finished _WorldWired_ and I cried - again. I remember reading you here, writing about pacing, and about needing to give people a chance to react to an intense bit (something like that) and I just have to say that I think your pacing in the Casey books was very well done.

I was not enthused about the shift (as I saw it) from near-future dystopia to space opera in the trilogy, but cared too much about the characters to stop reading and by the time you were done, I was amazed at how much everything fit together and what a great *story* it is.

And yeah - 2007 isn't over. Good to remind yourself of that. And good to accept that, yeah, you've got good reason to feel a little (or a lot) overwhelmed sometimes. As for bookshelves, well, I've often said that I don't need to learn speed reading, I need to learn speed bookshelf building. ;-)

Hope your day starts looking up.
--
Walking through the water. Trying to get across.
Just like everybody else.
Thank you.

Actually, it's a great day for egoboo.

That last bit makes me sniffly too, though I suspect it's declasse to admit to crying at your own books....
hugs. Lots of hugs.

So now of course I'm sitting here stressing about posting this, because it presents the appearance of vulnerability, and we all know vulnerability is bad, right?

Oh god. I know that one so well. The "never let on that you're not strong all the time" thing. I also know that it takes more strength to admit weakness, but that matters not to my Superwoman complex.
Superwoman is really *stubborn,* isn't she?

Vulnerability

Note to self. No patting the head of the Bear. How do you feel about air hugs?

Can I just say, though, that vulnerability is brave, and brave is good. I like brave.

Also I want to say that the end of August is stressful for some of us for reasons that have nothing to do with actual, legit, real-life stress. If you were smart, and you went to ordinary schools where they tried to kill off teh smart, then late August has all this damn BAGGAGE. School is starting up again, even if it isn't.

One more thing: Forgive me, but the posts where you are stressed about all your writing work always secretly make me feel happy because it means more Bear books for me. How selfish is that?

Re: Vulnerability

*snrch*

For me, August is: Thank Dog, Autumn is coming, because I do not like hot.

Yeah, I'm the genius who lived in Las Vegas for seven years, why do you ask?
Will it help if I give you a box of chocolates at World Fantasy?
Hee. Actually, since I am actually having some success with Project-Less-Of-Me, I suspect chocolates would only get me in trouble.

Thank you, though!

(I do not want to be a diabetic when I grow up, and since five of my close relatives *are,* well...)
*snrch*

Okay, that's one way to look at it!
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