it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken
matociquala

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undimmed by human tears

More on the fine art of revising and editing, and sentence-level control of one's rhetoric and prose.



Before:

Every word like a blow, and yet he saw the logic of it. Logic that galled like a spur struck against his skin.

After:

Every word a blow, and yet the logic galled like a spur against his skin.



It's like bonsai.

You have to get rid of anything that might blur the line.
Tags: revision wingeing, writing craft wank
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  • (no subject)

    A draft, a veritable draft. 3300 words today to finish off my untitled Shirley Jackson inspired SF story, which was supposed to be 7000 words and is…

  • home's a long long way from us

    WIJHKTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!! With extra letters. I just finished and handed in a draft of "Perfect Gun," a mil-SF short story about a boy…

  • stories break like branches in the cold

    Well, that's sort of a draft, ish, of Rook and Ruin. If it keeps that title. Who knows? 32,000 words, and the denouement is a bunch of pieces…