throw another bear in the canoe

Your clock off by 12 hours? As far as I know CT and Long Island are in the same timezone but your post is dated for 4 AM tomorrow...

Not so. Consider Dickens. Once his wife simply took to bed and said "The hell with it", her sister took over. And Dickens blamed his melodramatic bad behavior on having a Bad Wife.

Well, the spouses often reach a point of discontinuing their martyrdom, and then the ill-behaved artists move on the new victims....

That's presupposing said spouses had the opportunity to witness said bad behavior prior to wedding. I can think of one case where it came as a complete surprise, unfortunately...

Lucky for me then that I have a brutally competent wife who has a low tolerance for BS

Same here. My wife also has the advantage of being taller than I am and having incredibly sharp elbows. I get out of line, and the last sound I hear before she pounds a new fontanelle into the top of my skull is the sound of her elbow spike sliding out of its sheath.

Agreed, and it works both ways. My ex was nicknamed "the Nancy Spungen of fandom" for a reason.

Spouses/partners/syncophants. Yes, I think so, to a degree.

I have a list of behaviours that I have given to my partners (updated regularly) that is similar to a living will. It involves a request that they beat me with a large stick and take away my internet should I ever exhibit said behaviours. I am relying on their deep love for me, their personal integrity, and glee at whacking people with sticks to ensure that my professional persona never indulges in melodrama or bad behaviour.

So do two artist spouses cancel out each others melodrama?

Either that or they increase it exponentially.

I stick with engineers, for their practicality. No melodrama. No putting up with it, either.

I don't behave too badly most of the time. I don't want Tambyrd to peer over her glasses at me and give me THAT look.

But how does one allow for Byron, whose spouse absolutely refused to tolerate him (although was extremely competent)?

"It's a rock! It doesn't have any motivation!"

"That's your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft."

Ooooooooh, I could say some shit.

But, you know, I won't. For all I know, he'll start reading you as soon as I do.

I haven't found the one who will put up with my shit yet, alas....

This is somewhat related to a similar phenomenon -- the success of a student in a graduate degree program is directly related to the pressure of his/her partner. I call it the "WHEN is that paper due?" effect.

Wait a minute. Directly proportional or inversely proportional?

The more shit their mates will put up with, the worse they behave.

Something similar was was suggested as a topic for a panel at a convention in Dublin next year - whats it like being the spouse / partner etc of a writer

Not all writers are assholes, FWIW.