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bear by san

March 2017



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spies mfu (sorta) going to hurt ivan & h

the bad news is the world is ending. the good news is there's a party, but you better get here quick

Somewhere in Hell, it's 1984.

Tommy Shaw's "Girls With Guns" just came up in conversation, which sent me, of course, running to Youtube to refresh my memory of my chilhood youth, when hair was big and eyeshadow was frosted blue...

A brief field trip that will explain to those younger than myself why those of us who were there still mock...

I love this next song, actually, but man, was the technology in its infancy or what? Most static video evar.

OMG, Gino. You are not Bowie. Do not DO THAT WITH YOUR GROIN:

There you go, kids. Enough pure unmoderated cheeeeese to keep Kraft in business until 2012.


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Those who think the Eighties were cool obviously are too young to remember them.
The jiggling in the Matthew Wilder video is kind of hypnotic.

Man, standards of physical attractiveness really *have* changed.
That Matthew Wilder video just reminds me that the 80s were the bastard offspring of Lawrence Welk and Donna Summers.
Oh, yeah.

I mean, there is some awesome eighties out there, don;t get me wrong.

I cherrypicked the cheese. *g*

So to speak.

And the thing is, I *like* all of these songs.

Somehow, when I hear them in my head, they have less keyboards.

Here, have a little more Velveeta:

Oh, please don't remind me. I'm now having bad Kajagoogoo/Strawberry Switchblade/Eddy Grant flashbacks...
(Runs for her New Romantic CDs to soothe the pain.)
Limahl (and his hair) managed to be a double one hit wonder, with Kajagoogoo and "Too Shy" and then as a solo act with "The Neverending Story".
ZOMG, I had completely forgotten Diesel's existence and I *adore* that song!
This time, the post-novel ennui leads me into terrible 80's videos.

Isn't it an awesome song? It's on my long-distance-driving mix.
OK, seeing as how I was distracted and sort of missed that whole decade, sometime can I ask you for a brief trip through the goodness of the Eighties?
Sure. *g*

Break My Stride? Are you trying to kill me? Gah!

Girls with Guns is about 20 seconds of fun that goes on for 3 minutes too long. I think if the Tubes had done it it might have been stretched to a full 40 seconds of fun.

The most static video award has to go to this one (where as well I like the song, but /yawn/ on the video).

I've seen enough of the CA freeways that I don't need them in a video too. We want *out* of our cars, not to pretend we're stuck back in one! /voice of experience/ Besides, those lyrics have to be from the forties if they think they can get a blown gasket fixed on the Grapevine for only 80 bucks. /end voice of experience/

I feared you were going to inflict only the worst of the decade on us, but you redeemed yourself ever so slightly with the Gino. (And hmm, that woman looks suspiciously like Gino in drag. Another Bowie homage? /snicker/) Cheesy as it may be, it's the equivalent of Leave it to Beaver for this generation - a reminder of a more innocent time when a quick flash of garters and pale mannequin models made a video outrageous and sexy. Heh. Long gone are the days when *anyone* was surprised to see Madonna in her underwear. Oh, how far we've sunk. /looks down at loaf under feet/
... Oh, ow. I shouldn't have watched those. I didn't need the field trip, and now I have synth and mullet poisoning. Gack!
mullet poisoning...hmm.

Go watch some MacGyver to build up a tolerance?
I sorta liked Wilder's "Bouncing Off the Walls" but dear Lord someone should have staged a perm intervention.
Pornstache intervention, too.

Also, what's with raiding Richard Simmons' closet?
I think Benetar is just not cheesy enough or this company....
Ah, the 80s. I spent most of them in Manchester (UK), home of the Hacienda, home of the Smiths. Did not go to the former, did not see the latter, although I did go to a Bowie concert and also a Siouxsie and the Banshees gig. 20 years on, I'm living with one of Siouxsie's exes. Life, eh?
I get emails sometimes from people whose books I read when authors were lofty and mysterious geniuses. Instead of the inept cranks I now know we really are.

I still haven't quite gotten over that.

Life, yeah.
I shall fight the urge and not turn my collar up.
No, I shall not.
I still do that.
Oh. Good. Lord. ~runs and hides~

I've spent most of my life trying to forget the fact that I went through childhood in the Eighties, and you had to go and remind me!

Also, you want cheese? Try Kylie Minogue with a bubble perm singing 'The Locomotion' and 'I Should Be So Lucky'.

Mullets around here came courtesy of John Farnham and in tandem with a deeply worrying white coat, providing an unfortunate distraction from what is actually very, very good music when you listen to it with the mental picture from back then turned off.
*Remembers that she was thirty-something in the eighties and also didn't have a television*

Enough pure unmoderated cheeeeese to keep Kraft in business until 2012.

While we're talking about definition-drift, what does "cheesy" mean nowadays? It used to mean "cheap/easily breakable." Clearly, it means this no longer...
Campy, ridiculous, amusing in an over-the-top fashion.

The cultural equivalent of velveeta. Guilty pleasures.

Enjoyable until somebody else catches you enjoying it. *g*
Enough pure unmoderated cheeeeese to keep Kraft in business until 2012.
Until the end of the world, amirite? :B
To me, nothing says 80s like this:

Ooooh, but what about this?
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