it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken

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my past is warpaint

Dear internets:

My Persian lime and my Buddha's hand citron both have buds on them.

Yes, I am contemplating a hideous, Skullcrusher Mountain-esque misbreeding experiment. Although I am somewhat lacking in monkeys.

Also, I am amused that after climbing tonight, my hands are so tired I can barely squeeze the plant mister. Also, I scraped up my left hand when I came off the wall on an overhang. But I will beat that damned thing one of these days.

More upper body strength. And perhaps less of me. Rar!

And, for your delectation, another night of writers bitching about their stories in a working chat...

(Warning! Very politically incorrect. Also, involves a lot of jokes that are not really funny, except that they are, and even then are probably only funny if you (a) engage in some frustrating artistic endeavor and (b) watch television shows or movies about serial killers, or have the kind of library of unpleasant books about criminology that I do.)

[22:01] leahbobet: *beats story for sucking*
[22:01] leahbobet: I only do this because you make me so angry.
[22:02] kafkonia: Help! Help! Patriarchal oppression of narratives!
[22:02] leahbobet: If you were a good story like all those other ones, I wouldn't have to hurt you, baby.
[22:02] retrobabble: heee
[22:02] kafkonia: *steals story*
[22:02] retrobabble: I say that and they laugh at me.
[22:02] kafkonia: Show me on the manuscript where the bad writer touched you...
[22:02] retrobabble: *dies*
[22:02] leahbobet: all over, baby, all over.
[22:02] katallen: heee
[22:02] jmeadows: *scrubs eyes*
[22:03] leahbobet: (Kelly, I suspect it's giving me the finger and sauntering off to see its other girlfriend now.)
[22:03] retrobabble: (You're just saying that to make me feel better.)
[22:03] retrobabble: (But I'll take it, damit)
[22:03] retrobabble: ok. I continue with novel revising.
[22:04] retrobabble: Do you know I couldn't even touch this for most of the year
[22:04] retrobabble: Now I forgot what I was revising.
[22:04] leahbobet: Hatred or too busy?
[22:04] retrobabble: :p
[22:04] retrobabble: too busy
[22:04] retrobabble: although I'm sure ennui played a part
[22:04] leahbobet: I hear small children die of that. :/
[22:05] retrobabble: I figured if I put all the time over the past 3 years on this novel
[22:05] retrobabble: it amounts to less than 5 months of full-time
[22:05] kafkonia: John Cleese had a case of ennui in a fumetti I read once.
[22:05] kafkonia: I am constantly amazed by the crap in my head.
[22:05] retrobabble: except my brain keeps trying to keep up with you lot
[22:05] leahbobet: *dies of ennui*
[22:05] retrobabble: silly brain
[22:06] leahbobet: *and stories that don't love me enough to put out*
[22:06] retrobabble: I love that word. *pets*
[22:06] retrobabble: It's fun to say
[22:06] leahbobet: it is.
[22:06] stillsostrange: No stories love me lately
[22:06] retrobabble: I didn't know they were supposed to
[22:06] matociquala: Mine hate me.
[22:06] kafkonia: They don't have to love you, they just have to let you fiddle with'em for a few minutes til you're done.
[22:06] matociquala: I force myself on them anyway
[22:06] leahbobet: ...
[22:06] leahbobet: what Jamie said.
[22:07] leahbobet: Lie back and think of England, story.
[22:07] stillsostrange: Maybe I need some rohypnol, or ketamine...
[22:07] retrobabble: I want that on a t-shirt, Leah
[22:07] matociquala: Didn't I make them a part-monkey, part pony monster?
[22:07] leahbobet: hee.
[22:07] matociquala: Isn't it enough that I ruined a pony for them?
[22:07] leahbobet: It will be the battle cry of the working writer.
[22:08] leahbobet: Through rain and sleet and deepest snow, we hack our way to the deadline. :-P
[22:08] kafkonia: It'll only hurt for a second.
[22:09] hawkwing_lb: once more into the breach, dear friends
[22:09] hawkwing_lb: (I suspect that one doesn't work so well as a battle cry)
[22:09] katallen: yeah, I was thinking
[22:09] leahbobet: (in the context, that's actually really filthy)
[22:10] hawkwing_lb: (of course, Leah)
[22:10] matociquala: I has eatsed cereal and made ginger peach tea
[22:10] matociquala: the cat is telling me what a waking nightmare is her life
[22:10] leahbobet: hee.
[22:10] katallen: poor Mebd
[22:10] matociquala: Leah is about to inform her story that if it doesn't put out it doesn't need to eat
[22:10] matociquala: another typical night in chat
[22:11] katallen: which is accurate
[22:11] leahbobet: It doesn't even need to pretend it likes it.
[22:11] leahbobet: Just lie down and stop scratching me.
[22:11] kafkonia: I feel so dirty.
[22:11] stillsostrange: ...
[22:11] leahbobet: ...
[22:11] leahbobet: (okay, this is going to a bad place.)
[22:11] stillsostrange: defensive injuries!
[22:11] katallen: I may have been put off writing for life :P
[22:11] matociquala: Leah's the UNSUB!
[22:11] leahbobet: (maybe I'll just go make some more tea.)
[22:11] leahbobet: *is clean*
[22:11] kafkonia: It just walked into a door.
[22:12] matociquala: Next thing you know, Story wakes up drugged and chained in a barn.
[22:12] leahbobet: If I gave it a barn and some nice downers, would it let me finish that middle scene?
[22:12] kafkonia: Are we making a tortureporn movie about writing now? Like Saw for writers?
[22:12] matociquala: try the bastinado.
[22:12] leahbobet: *beats*
[22:13] matociquala: *story tries to maintain that it's not a liar*
[22:13] hawkwing_lb: (and if Leah does the thing with the dogs to her story, no one tell me later, k?)
[22:13] kafkonia: A sack full of oranges won't leave bruises, I'm told.
[22:13] leahbobet: It's got snot all over it now. :/
[22:13] matociquala: *even though it's obviously made of fiction*
[22:13] katallen: there's a lot of truth in fiction
[22:13] leahbobet: LOL
[22:13] kafkonia: Really really?
[22:13] leahbobet: really really.
[22:13] kafkonia: Really really.
[22:13] katallen: she's gone man, real gone
[22:13] matociquala: (this is the really real world)
[22:13] katallen: really really
[22:13] matociquala: (there ain't no coming back)
[22:14] leahbobet: Maybe if I show it other stories on screens and say I'll write them instead it'll capitulate.
[22:14] katallen: unless you're a buddhist
[22:14] matociquala: What you can do is make a training tape, Leah
[22:14] matociquala: Make an example of one of the other stories
[22:14] matociquala: and make it watch
[22:14] kafkonia: Tie it up and make it watch you with a real story.
[22:14] matociquala: then it will know what happens to stories that don't cooperate.
[22:15] katallen: but it'll happen anyway
[22:15] leahbobet: *asks story if it wants to have a party*
[22:15] matociquala: *story sniffles*
[22:15] stillsostrange: story chili!
[22:15] matociquala: *still kind of snotty*
[22:16] matociquala: *maintains it's not a sinner*
[22:16] matociquala: *studio audience not so sure*
[22:16] matociquala: ...okay, I just went to a world where Criminal Minds has a laugh track.
[22:17] katallen: o.o
[22:17] leahbobet: ...
[22:17] katallen: of people who've been dead for twenty years?
[22:17] leahbobet: . . .
[22:17] matociquala: yeah
[22:17] leahbobet: *snap*
[22:17] matociquala: That was the stressor
[22:17] leahbobet: *devolves rapidly*
[22:17] leahbobet: *abducts more stories and cuts bits off them*
[22:18] matociquala: make the first story pick how they die
[22:18] matociquala: that'll be fun
[22:18] katallen: that's the sad thing... they just shouldn't get in the car
[22:18] leahbobet: *locks them in a trunk and asks them if they're afraid now*
[22:18] stillsostrange: Oh yeah, I have frozen pad thai
[22:18] kafkonia: I'm going to have nightmares now.
[22:19] stillsostrange: we'll see how this turns out
[22:19] katallen: :: pets Jamie::
[22:19] kafkonia: Or sexy Leah dreams.
[22:19] kafkonia: Probably nightmares.
[22:19] katallen: you already were having bad dreams
[22:19] stillsostrange: Nightmares of Bear waking you up at 6 in the morning to torture you. :P
[22:19] leahbobet: heeee
[22:19] kafkonia: I hope not.
[22:20] matociquala: *does not torture*
[22:20] matociquala: *prefers ethical dilemmas*
[22:20] katallen: hah!
[22:20] leahbobet: Bear is the WTF killer.
[22:20] matociquala: *locks three stories in a small room and gives them two hammers*
[22:20] leahbobet: Wake, torture, flee.
[22:20] stillsostrange: heee
[22:20] leahbobet: (for breakfast)
[22:21] matociquala: Somebody needs to blog this.
[22:21] leahbobet: Ooh, if you give them a puzzle saw it's revising. *g*
[22:21] matociquala: ooo
[22:21] stillsostrange: heee
[22:21] katallen: ow
[22:21] matociquala: Anybody mind if I save it for posterity?
[22:21] leahbobet: go for it. *g*
[22:22] jmeadows: no wonder your stories hate you
[22:22] jmeadows: *sniff*
[22:22] jmeadows: *pets stories*
[22:22] jmeadows: *gives them chocolate*
[22:22] leahbobet: Hmm, Jodi's stories love her.
[22:22] kafkonia: That's a real niche market, Leah.
[22:22] retrobabble: That's because she bribes them
[22:22] leahbobet: Maybe we should try making characters wet themselves until they comply...
[22:22] kafkonia: I couldn't stop you if I wanted to. :)
[22:23] jmeadows: that only kind of works, Leah. someone makes me take it out of almost every story :P
[22:23] leahbobet: hee.
[22:23] katallen: ::sniffles::

Tags: can't sleep clowns will eat me, chatroom transcripts, horticulture (no really: horticulture), the writer at work, this is for posterity

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