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bear by san

March 2017



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writing dust rengeek shakespeare

did I mention I started the b&%k tonight?

Choose a novel. Choose a title. Choose an epigraph. Choose a protagonist. Choose a fucking opening sentence. Choose supporting characters, pets, backstory, and electrical tin openers. Choose heartbreak, repetitive stress injuries, and a lack of health insurance. Choose mounting credit card debt. Choose starving in a garret. Choose writing sex scenes instead of dating. Choose a laptop with a flickering screen. Choose a three-book contract with a crushing deadline and fucking basket accounting. Choose dying alone and wondering who the hell you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting in that chair writing mind-numbing spirit-crushing hackwork, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the last of it, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up Hot New Things who will rise up from your ashes. Choose your future. Choose a novel.

...but first, you have to choose an epigraph.


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Now if you could just get Ewan McGregor to read that out, I could die happy...
He's still not talking to me since I told all my friends I saw his penis.
Can't I at least flirt with you?
I should warn you, the last time I flirted with people on the internet, I wound up 2,700 miles from home and divorced.

Well, it's a more complicated story than that. But that's the bones of it.

I think I've sworn off. *g*
Oh dear: something like this might help? For the mood, anyway. I'm sure you will do fine with the book :)
Oh god. Maybe for burning. But I keep a copy of Bird by Bird around for that.
From this morning's Writer's Almanac, Virginia Woolf on Charles Dickens: "Dickens makes his books blaze up not by tightening the plot or sharpening the wit, but by throwing another handful of people upon the fire."

spontaneous combustion, of all the deaths there are, and no other!

I'm all for it.
This is insane or profound. Probably both.
My icon loves your icon.
If you moved to Ireland you would at least get state healthcare and no income tax...

The rest you'd have to work out for yourself.
well no tax from earnings from artistic work that is
I think you'd fit in well here in Ireland - another eccentric creative genius will blend in so well.
Does this mean we'll finally see E. Bear's long-awaited "dead baby crawling on the ceiling" book?
Since the watchwords for the Jacob's Ladder books are "That's fucked up! Let's put it in!"

...count on it.

And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got deadlines?

Writing a Novel. Stage One, Preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus. Paper, five reams of. Pens and pencils, couple gross of each. Word processor. External file storage. Post-Its, five packs of. One television and one bottle of Valium, which I've already procured from my mother, who is, in her own domestic and socially acceptable way also a drug addict. And now I'm ready.

Re: And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got deadlines?

Dude. I think you just won one of the ATWS galleys.

Send me your address, or the address of a duly appointed representative. *g*
Bwahahahahaha. Yeah, that's me right now. Only without the pipe.

Cue spit take

Thank you so much for that. You've made my day.

And all the more apropos, since last night, in another fit of insomnia, after watching my pirated copies of the Wire episodes 5, 6, and 7, I chose not to choose a novel. I chose something else.

I chose a short story. And I chose the title. Now for the epigraph and the tin opener.
Re # epigraphs:
The 2004 edition of the Edge World Question Center might be useful. Just scroll down past the screeds of promo to get to the good stuff.

One of my favorite movies ever!

This is made of win!!!

Re: One of my favorite movies ever!

thank you.

Read the comments. *g*

Would it help

Would it help if I mentioned I've started telling people you're our generation's answer to Le Guin?

Re: Would it help

*blinks at Mac*

You're very silly. *g*
brilliant. "fooking" brilliant. ;)
Do you find it necessary to use an epigraph?
For this book.
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