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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

And while you're at it, I want a pony.

February 29th would have been my second wedding anniversary, if I were still married. (The alert among you will have already figured out that this means I got married in 2000.) I've been separated for over two years now, and divorced for six months, and I have realized something recently.

I am ready to start dating again.

Of course, I have no idea how a self-employed artist would meet people. A friend of mine has been exploring the wilds of Craig's list for similar purposes, but her results have been mixed enough that I'm totally hesitant to try that. On the other hand, I'm also enough at a loss that on the way home from Fall River (it's about a two hour drive) tonight I started composing a personal ad.

Let's see.

Self-employed, financially independent artist seeks person(s) for acquaintanceship, flirtation, possible escalation. I am: divorced, female, 36, eclectic, geeky, mercurial, empathic, intellectual, opinionated, radical, insecure, overscheduled, tactile, energetic, intimidating, picky, prickly, defensive, spontaneous, amusing, tough, devoid of ownership issues, bad at communicating needs strongly, moderately traumatized but so over the glamour of my own tragic past, and can cook. I am looking for someone(s) who is/are: 25-55, single or in an open relationship, solvent, outdoorsy, creative, adventurous, ethical, ambitious, geeky, competent, active, curious, friendly, funny, and not a picky eater.

Anybody not within a reasonable commute of Hartford, CT, need not apply.

And then it occurred to me... I could ask my Internets!  So there you go.

Internets, set me up with your friends!


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I've put a cabana boy on a first class flight from Heathrow!

(you should come to New York in August when I go there for my birthday! We can go on the lash/pull!)
I should.

Send me dates!

What is a Lash/Pull?
Asking the internetz? You are out of your ever loving mind, woman.

I heartily salute you and wish you the best of luck on your quest.
I warn you. There are single, hot (?), entertaining guys on the internet. They just have slightly receeding hairlines at 24.
A Certain Someone* just listened to me read this post.

I believe he started saying "I'm available"** when I got to the "ready to start dating" line.


*the same Certain Someone who likes to throw evil care-bears armed with lolipops at his D&D players.

**open relationships.

Well, you know. I am asking my internets to set me up. *g*
I met E through an online dating service - it's changed it's name from when we did it. It's now called Tickle, I think.

Match.com and Eharmony aren't bad. I think I have a three month free thing from eharmony I can send you. They keep trying to get me to come back.
I'm pretty sure that for eHarmony you have to be strictly heterosexual.

I know one person who used match.com, and her results indicated that 40-something divorced women have *NO* problem finding interested & interesting men.
I would suggest crossposting this to bipolypagangeek. It's a good demographic match for the people you're looking for.
That defeats the purpose of using my friends as a filter. *g*
How about a Fling at Duckon?
You are about to be overwhelmed by screaming fan-boys.


You could keep a man in every major con city.

Lemme think.
I am inherently dubious about dating services. Mailing lists or whatevers for locals interested in (insert Bear interest here) allow you to online-screen and possibly have group meetups with folks some of whom may be single, interesting, and with whom you already have at least one common interest. Sometimes there are even singles groups which have an interest as their bonding factor, like "Date Night at the Rock Gym" or "Singles Meetup Night for Guitar Students". Because meeting people on the internet, then in a group of people with something in common, is fifteen thousand times less horrible than a blind date or a bar.
Sounds good - except for the minor detail of the Atlantic Ocean between us :-)

Ongoing problem. :-(
Also, congrats on your recovery.
Thank you. *g*

I'm still not sure this is a great idea, but hey. You gotta start sometime...
If you were on the west coast, I'd be hooking you up with a particular friend down in CA right off the bat. As it is though, congratulations- you're probably going to need hip-waders to get through all the people at cons who now know you're "on the market."
Hee. I did the long-distance relationship thing. Scarred for life.

Thank you, though. *g*
Go classical, make them bring you dead dragons... Oh... wait, you like dragons... Never mind.
I can offer one really hawt stage combat expert from NYC and/or one really talented (ahem) fire captain from CT.

Your choice :)
I don't have any surplus gentlemen friends at the moment, but I've been directed to tell you that you're emphatically included in a party invitation for 3/29 in Troy, NY.

Two hours away, no further than Boston, really. And very congenial folks. And Munchkin was mentioned among the evening's amusements.

Maybe they've got a surplus gentleman!

Also, I do get a lot of entertainment out of OKSt^H^HCupid.
Mmm. Parties with a bunch of strangers when I am on deadline and need to be home on my computer.

Not so much, for this introvert. But thank you! *g*
*Reads your ad.*

*Wonders how you already know aquila_dominus well enough to describe him to an eerily accurate degree, but haven't already gone out with him.*

*Shrugs, reads him the ad, then gives a nudge in his direction.*

I can vouch for his being an honourable gent of many and varied talents, who plays very nicely with others.
I am trying to convince her to come to the party despite the deadlines!
Most of the men I know are either married or not interested in women. However, this place looks intriguing--

Geek 2 Geek
I've been trying Geek to Geek without much any success, but part of that may be my approach.
If you do use that ad, I suggest stating gender or genders you're interested in.

Perhaps you could arrange to have an ad in the Fourth Street Fantasy program book? Most of the people will be from nowhere near Hartford; but you never know.
I did.

I said "person."
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