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bear by san

March 2017



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writing shadow unit chaz gravity

it was anything but hear the voice that says that we are all basically alone

Boy, what a beautiful morning. High thirties into low forties, clear and crisp, everything in bloom. Just gorgeous.

Two and a half miles this morning, and I did my first mile in 14:59. If you think I am smug about it, you would be right. Then the nine-minute loop of the park (I think it's actually longer than a half-mile, but gmaps pedometer says it's not), and then some stretching, and then mostly-walked the mile home in 16:47. I justify this to myself by means of the scorching (for me) time on the run out, the fact that I was going to stay home this morning, the fact that my shins and calves hurt, and sheer laziness. Also, it really is a pretty morning.

Climbing last night was better than Monday, despite ongoing lack of strength and soreness issues in my right arm. That traverse that I couldn't do and then I could do? I can't do it again, so I still have not finished that damned blue 5.7. Even though it's a short wall, it's tricky. I did however finish a fairly long 5.7 with a similar traverse that used to completely kick my ass (and I felt secure the whole time, though I had to stop and rest), and also a 5.7 and a 5.6 on the slab, both of which I have done before. I tried a 5.8 and couldn't get off the ground, so I fell back and did the 5.6 on the same wall, which is sort of a bunny wall overhang. It's overhung, but you can barely tell. Still, it will help make me strong enough that I can tackle the overhang on the black 5.7 that is my other project wall. The Jeff is after me to try a 5.7 on the tree wall that he likes. It looks like absolutely no fun at all, but I will probably adopt that one as a new project once I finish one of these other two. It has to happen sooner or later, right?

I have a hell of a bruise on the palm of my left hand. Wheeugh. No idea how I got it, either.

189.9 miles to Lothlorien.

In other news, I appear to be cured. Right. Not taking those pills any more. Man. It's been donwright pleasant and spacious inside my head for the last two days.

And now I need a shower and some food and tea and some work on "The Red in the Sky is Our Blood," which is standing at around 1000 words currently. Because hey, progress is good.


It's odd, because it is both much, much harder than you'd think (Like wow, the most physically demanding thing I've ever done) and also perfectly doable, as long as you don't mind constant wipeouts and a certain amount of pain....
Let's hope the artist formerly known as Bear is back!

(BTW, I read "Knock on Coffins" last night and really enjoyed it. Several moments of laughing out loud in a way that means, "I would never have predicted it, but that was the perfect thing for that character to say or do.")
Oh, yay! That makes me happy. Thank you.
Hooray for the time on your run!

And also Yay! No impending sense of doom and overwhelming anxiety.
In other news, I appear to be cured. Right. Not taking those pills any more.

Oh, thank goodness. Good spot on your part.
Seriously. I didn't realize how absolutely miserable I was until suddenly I stopped feeling miserable again.

Stupid pills! I'm glad you figured out what was hammering you.

It's amazing how the things we eat and think are good for us (or not that bad, surely) can have horrible effects. Last year I was combating bouts of crushing fatigue that'd come about seemingly at random--until finally I noticed my heart racing after eating something with MSG in it. Sure enough, I had that crushing fatigue the next day.

As much of a bummer as that was, avoiding MSG or anything related is way better than the list of diseases that could have caused it. *shiver*

I mean, I felt so awful. I think I was so busy being bent on just surviving it that I didn't notice how awful I was feeling.

It's so insidious. You start feeling a little worse, and a little worse, and you know it hasn't always been this way but you can't put your finger on when things changed. It's hard to know what's gone off until some little thing happens (like missing a pill and the anxiety goes away, or having a racing heart when you've been sitting quietly for hours) that jolts your attention and you're like, "Wait just a damned minute..."
You are virtupus.

Me, I did yoga Monday night but not last night bc I was sleepy from being tantrummy.

However, multivitamins in, anxiety up. I just realized it this a.m.

Hmm. Isn't THAT interesting?

It's all fluttery in my chest and I feel I must either slay or run away quickly!!! And fix things! Because they are broken!!! And the world will end if I don't get closure on them RIGHT THE F**K NOW.

So, um, I'm cutting out the multivitamin.
They're putting the drugs to make us neurotic in the vitamins now....
....so we'll have to buy the anti-anxiety meds to calm down???
Vivia the Happy Bear.. You are what you eat. Now, nose to the grindstone, ear to the ground, shoulder to the wheel, eye on the clock, and try to get some work done in that position..
Okay, I have to ask: 189.9 miles to Lothlorien? I presume you aren't actually virtual neighbors with Galadriel. :D
Google "eowyn challenge"
*does* Oh my word. That may be one of the niftiest things I've seen in years. Thank you!
Welcome! *g* It's pretty cool.