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bear by san

March 2017

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sf doctor FANtastic!

cat vs. monkey: electric boogaloo

Cat: Monkey?
Monkey: *typetypetype*
Cat: Monkey?
Cat: *jumps up on the back of the monkey's chair*
Cat: Monkey. What are you doing?
Monkey: Hello, Cat. I am working.
Cat: Monkey.
Monkey: *cheek-pets cat*
Cat: Monkey.
Cat: Monkey.
Cat: Monkey.
Monkey: What?
Cat: Monkey! I want something.
Monkey: And what do you want, O Cat?
Cat: I don't know.
Monkey: Do you want a sunbeam? Do you want to share my chair? Do you want to snuggle?
Cat: Monkey! Fix my life.
Monkey: *waggles fingers* Your life is fixed.
Cat: Monkey! No, it's not.
Monkey: How can you tell?
Cat: For I am discontent.
Monkey: That's the ennui.
Cat: Ennui?
Monkey: Yes. It's what's wrong when there is nothing wrong.
Cat: ...that is such a Monkey kind of concept. Monkeys are weird.
Monkey: And yet, you have ennui.
Cat: I want a second opinion.
Monkey: Okay, you also have bad breath.

(Later)

Cat: Monkey.
Cat: Monkey.
Cat: Monkey.
Cat: Monkey.
Monkey: What?
Cat: Move over. I want that sunbeam.
Monkey: *moves over*
Cat: Monkey. Are you paying attention?
Monkey: No, I told you, I'm working.
Cat: Well, you should pay attention. I am snuggling you. See? I will arch my neck back over your hand, stare cutely, and say "Monkey!" until you pay attention to me.
Monkey: Awwwwwwww. *pets Cat*
Cat: WIKTORY!







Comments

*loves*
*sigh* How can we resist our presumptuous cats? Mine win every time...
Again, and again, and again, I am struck by the similarities between presumptuous cats and presumptuous 13 year old boys.
Oh thank god it is not just my cat who does the "fix my life!" request. I was starting to think there was something vastly wrong that I was missing.
No, mine does it too. Usually with these HUGE sad eyes that make him look like a grey version of Shrek's Puss N Boots when he wants something.

You'd think my beagle would win the Sad Eyes award in this house, but no.
I knew you were lost when I read the first response to PC and found that the word "pet" was continually jumping out at me:

>*typetypetype*


:-p
Cat: I want a second opinion.

So.very.Cat.
Why is your cat channeling our Bengal? I can hear her vocal inflections in that exchange....
Age cannot wither nor custom stale the PC's approach to life.

I discovered last night that while New Cat! is not yet willing to speak to me, he was willing to climb all over me to get at the pita bread and hummus I was eating.

Smart cat. *g*
*bwahahahahaha*

This morning was *Mom*Mom*Mom*FeedMe*Mom*Mom*
*Mom*PetMe*Mom*Mom*CuddleMe*Mom*Mom*MOOOOOMMM*

I was late to work.

So what. Kitty cuddled. Hobbes has the softest bunnyfur, and is so sweet when he's needy.

So yeah, Presumptuous Cat certainly hits the spot!

I'm in the process of packing for a move; this Upsets the cats Very Much. Smokey just did his morning ritual of climbing all over the room mewing piteously and occasionally staring at me.

Cat: omg omg omg whyyyy?? things are moved around! I don't understand! Reassure me!
Monkey: I'm checking web comics and drinking coffee, I will make chirpy noises but I'm not going over there.
Cat: *plays in curtain*
Monkey: *grits teeth, does not go over there*
Cat: *climbs onto shelf, from there onto pile of boxes, mews and stares*
Monkey: *continues to grit teeth and not go over there*
Cat: *begins sloooowly climbing off the other side of the pile of boxes into the pile of stuff waiting to be boxed up while still staring at Monkey*
Monkey: *loses contest of nerves, picks up cat* BOODLE BOODLE BOODLE LOVE GROOM PET!
Cat: AAAUGH! oh, okay. *goes limp* prrrprrrrrprrrrprrrrr
What would a novel written by a cat look like, I wonder?
my cat just does this while I am trying to sleep.
Thank you! It is just lovely how a good dose of Monkey vs. Cat can go a long way towards fixing *my* life.
I want your cat. Mine is broken:

Cat: Monkey.
Monkey: TypeTypeType.
Cat: Monkey.
Monkey: TypeTypeType.
Cat: Monkey.
Monkey: What?
Cat: SNEEEEEEEZZZZZE!!!!
Monkey: EEEWWGetItOffMe!!!
Cat: (Licks face clean)
Monkey: Eeewww ...
Cat: SNNNNNRFFFF!!!
Monkey: That's disgusting.
Cat (innocently): What?
...eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Mmmm...mine does that too. Nothing like the slap of flying cat snot on a cold winter's morn to wake you up out of a dead sleep.
Post + user icon = WIN.
This is only as it should be.
See, this is why we monkeys can't win. Cat wins and Monkey is happy.