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bear by san

March 2017



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sf farscape pilot

i turned my head, what could I see? the devil had a hold of me.

So I begin to suspect that in addition to the crushing anxiety, those damned multivitamins were also contributing strongly to the general air of OMG I CAN'T WRITE and all my life is darkness, woe, and despair that's been going on around here.

Because I got just under 800 words on "The Red in the Sky is Our Blood" today, which is not, you know, a great day, but it's an okay one. And it didn't hurt. And I am not contemplating how much I suck, and how there is no story in here to tell, and who the hell am I to think I can write, and by the way, this is awful and who am I kidding, and I should probably just nip off and shoot myself now. And I can reread it without wanting to cry, and I sort of enjoyed the process of writing it. 

I'm not sure where the story is going, but I'm confident I might think up the next scene on my run tomorrow morning, and anyway I've drafted plenty of stories without knowing exactly how they were going to come together in the end, one scene or image or thematic tidbit at a time. I can do that; it's what revision is for.

And the actual writing process was not acutely painful. There was nothing about it that made me think I should give this up and get a job at Starbucks. I did not feel like I was just making shit up without reference to good craft or storytelling. I didn't have any huge bursts of inspiration or click experiences, but the actual process of writing was modestly pleasureable, in a spending time on quiet quality work of solid craftsmanship kind of way.

Well, hallelujah.

Maybe this career can be saved after all.

And now, I think, some yoga before archery.


Brain chemistry is some weird shit ( so says the dyslexic dysgraphic dyscalculic epileptic who's gluten intolerant ). Glad you found the solution.

That's just bizarre though. Is it one of the vitamins, or maybe the binding agent?

At any rate, glad you got your writing mojo back.
*shoots off fireworks left over from New Year's*
Joins you!
Weird. Do you think it's a problem with a specific mineral or vitamin, or are you reacting to a binder or something?

I'm glad you figured this out but... huh. That's super weird.
I suspect it's something obnoxious in the sneaky health food store blend. You know, some inadequately tested neutraceutical.
Buh, nasty.

Some vitamins and minerals can interact with prescription medication. Someone on my flist takes anti seizure meds and they conflicted with... B vitamins? I think? I don't know if you take any medications or supplements besides the vitamin but there could be conflict. OR there could just be some stupid flower extract slipped in there that you're reacting to. Ugh ugh ugh.

Normal vitamins give me indigestion so I take chewables. It rocks. I have chocolate DHA, gummi iron and gummi multi vitamin.
Okay, Man oh man, I am TOTALLY ceasing those multis. Because I have had to get THREE extensions on this audit so far, and that compliance plan just is not even started, because I have the writer's block from hell.

But mine are just plain old multis. But I did NOT have the anxiety back until I started taking them.

I'm really, really pleased to hear it.

Possibly this is because I project too much, but we'll take sympathy where it comes.
You don't suck. You do not, absolutely do not. You're one of the people whose writing encouraged ME to write! Picking up Blood and Iron showed me that yes, it's possible to do a successful real world/fay kind of crossover deal. Most people don't do it well. You did. Don't ever, ever think that you suck.
Well hallelujah indeed. I'll be staying with the name-brand industrial multivitamin. At least that way everything stays consistent....
And that is why I don't take multivitamins--just individual supplements of whatever stuff I need and know (from trial and error) that my body can tolerate.

Anyway, yay for balanced brain chemicals!
I'm so very glad you're feeling better.

Good news. :) So glad you found what was causing that.
I'm glad you found out what was apparently summoning the Suck Monkey, and I hope everything continues to get better.
I am so putting this on my list of counter-anecdotes when people start on the "magical herbs cured my life" and/or "western medicine destroys people" anecdotes.

Oh, and I'm glad you're better :-).
Good ghod. Tell me what these vitamins from heck are, so I never buy any, much less ingest the little beasts.
I suspect the culprits are "Rainbow Light Women's One Multivitamin/Mineral."
Whatever it was, I'm happy to have made it stop.
Frequent drive-by reader here, coming to thank y'all for the information, now added to my mental database of supplement errata.

Very curious to hear what the B-complex might contain, as well...
Yay for not sucking. It's the little victories. I kind of hate that there are days when "I ate in a restaurant and did not freak out" is a victory, but there you go.

BTW, I just finished New Amsterdam tonight. It pretty much rocked. Is there more?
Thank you!

I'm supposed to write a Sebastien novella sometime this month, actually.
I feel bad cheering when it's still in the "more deadlines for you" stage, but still, yay!
Glad the wetware is behaving again, and that the fix this time was relatively simple.
Well, hallelujah!

Can I just say that the Goon is missing his weekly dose of Bear Prose? He likes short stories, too, you know.
...I can't argue with the Goon. *g* I'll see what I can do.
That sounds like the definition of a pretty good day. These days, I live for those. Good on ya!