Because really, apparently we can't bring about any advance in basic human rights in this country without having to put down an armed insurrection first.
To raise the entertainment value, Scott's logic isn't all that much like our Earth logic. Let me quote, for your edification, a few of the more laughable excerpts, with some of the intervening alarmist hyperbole about babykillin' and schools full of liberal propaganda trimmed out, because it's a little distracting from the sheer madness of what's being said here.
There is no branch of government with the authority to redefine marriage. Marriage is older than government. Its meaning is universal: It is the permanent or semipermanent bond between a man and a woman, establishing responsibilities between the couple and any children that ensue.
The laws concerning marriage did not create marriage, they merely attempted to solve problems in such areas as inheritance, property, paternity, divorce, adoption and so on....
No matter how sexually attracted a man might be toward other men, or a woman toward other women, and no matter how close the bonds of affection and friendship might be within same-sex couples, there is no act of court or Congress that can make these relationships the same as the coupling between a man and a woman.
This is a permanent fact of nature [[His confidence is so touching. Nobody tell him about the penguins.]]....
Married people are doing something that is very, very hard -- to combine the lives of a male and female, with all their physical and personality differences, into a stable relationship that persists across time.
When they are able to create children together, married people then provide the role models for those children to learn how to become a man or a woman, and what to expect of their spouse when they themselves marry.
When a heterosexual couple cannot have children, their faithful marriage still affirms, in the eyes of other people's children, the universality of the pattern of marriage....
Biological imperatives trump laws.
...okay, so it's natural and universal. But has to be taught. Or else we'll be scraping the queers out of the kitchen fridge, and even the heterosexuals will openly fuck everybody. Especially the men, because:
Men routinely discard wives and children to follow the nearly universal male biological desire for diversity in mating. Adultery is now openly expected of men, even if faithful wives deplore it.
Okay, so let me get this straight*: Because marriage (between two people of opposite sexes) is a natural, universal, incontrovertible biological imperative, the married folks will rise up and overthrow the government to defend it, because it can only exist in the presence of supportive laws.**
Oh, god. Even after seven and a half years of the Bush Administration, my head still hurts.
Where's Evil Monkey? There has to be somebody out here who can explain this to me.
*yeah. I know. that's my first problem.
**yeah, you're not here for the politics, I know. just go ahead and unfriend me now.