it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken

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i shot him with my shooter, bang bang bang

Well, the Criminal Minds season premier is a week from Wednesday. Which means it's time for the next installement in an occasional series: Who Shot Whom.

Abstract: A season and four fifths after leaving the show, Elle Greenaway is still in first place.

Number of bad guys shot, by character.

Future vigilante killer Elle Greenaway: probably still in first place, (unless she's actually second) despite having left the show in 2x05, with 2.5 (Extreme Aggressor, Charm & Harm (split with Morgan), Aftermath)

Derek Morgan: probably in second with 2.25, or maybe in first with 2.75 (Charm & Harm (split with Elle), Lessons Learned, Open Season (probably split with Prentiss), and Legacy (split with Hotch, Prentiss, and the CotW).

Aaron Hotchner, tied for second with 2.25 (The Tribe, A Real Rain, Legacy (split with Morgan, Prentiss, and the CotW) unless that places him third.

Dr. Spencer Reid, fourth-place finish at 2 (LDSK, Revelations) And two UNSUB lives saved through direct and personal intervention (Elephant's Memory, Tabula Rasa), which feels like it should get a mention. But if I start logging those, I will be here all week.

Emily Prentiss, moving up in the pack with either 1.75 or 1.25, depending on whether one of those offscreen gunshots in Open Season was actually hers, or if all three were Morgan's. The .25 is the other quarter of Charles Holcomb in Legacy, who went down like Frankie. The 1 is the suicide-by-cop in "Lo-Fi," actually the only new addition to the list since 3x09, unless I missed one.

JJ: 1, in Penelope. And RIGHT THROUGH THE FBI SEAL. Hello Symbolism Much? Also, three dogs and my eternal respect. She is 1:1 bullets:kills, at this juncture. So is Reid, incidentally.

Rossi: in second-to-last place with 1, in his very first episode (About Face). Cowboy.

Garcia still doesn't kill people.

Gideon discharged his weapon once. (Psychodrama, a futile shot across an aqueduct.) However, we all know that in the real continuity, the one where Mandy didn't have a say over whether the character lived or died, Jason put that pistol in his mouth at the beginning of this season. The AU is actually what aired. ;-)

And of course, various killings perpetrated by unsubs, victims, the families of unsubs, cops of the week, snipers, random bystanders, and Frank Miller's ego....

We still haven't racked up enough deathtoll to fill out a half-season of CSI: Miami.
Tags: geeks with guns
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